Wife wants husband to give up motorcycle; he says, 'I'll die doing something I love.'

AITA for telling my husband he may need to reconsider riding a motorcycle once our first child is born?

I (30)F have been married to my husband who is also 30 for 5 years and been together for 8.

My husband became interested in motorcycles about 3 years ago. It is something I have never liked as I feel motorcycles are very dangerous. He bought one against my wishes which was fair enough because he is an adult and it would be unfair for him to ditch his hobby because of someone else but he knows I do not like it and will never go on it.

We are trying for a family and I told my husband he may need to stop riding because I was not willing to become a widow and support our children by myself if he had an accident or died.

It was a bit better right now since there were no children involved but I am totally against him continuing to ride the motorbike if there are other people to consider which would be the children. He was not very happy with this and said if he ever died while riding his motorcycle I should just know that he had died doing something that he loves.

I am unwilling to accept this and do not know what is going to happen once the children arrive. I am just checking to see if I am the AITA and just accept that he rides a bike and not ask him to stop or cut down once we grow our family.

Here's what people had to say:

toxicredox writes:

INFO: Did you discuss any compromises? For example, he can ride his motorcycle with restricitions - such as only at certain times of day or avoiding heavy traffic/metro areas - or exclusively riding the bike recreationally (like off-roading or at the track) rather than using it as transport.

Livid_Surprise1681 OP responded:

We have tried to have this discussion but it has not been very helpful as we are unable to reach a compromise.The bike has now become his primary mode of transport and he seldom uses his car now.

fpreview writes:

'We are trying for a family and I told my husband he may need to stop riding because I was not willing to become a widow and support our children by myself if he had an accident or died.' YTA. Hopefully he is smart. And stops trying. This would be the end. If I was him. I would not have children. Not with someone. Who would demand something like that.

Livid_Surprise1681 OP responded:

Lmao.Good thing he isn’t you.Not that I would want to be married to you anyway.

IceCorrect writes:

YTA. Its his body, his choice and you are also very controling

Livid_Surprise1681 OP responded:

All very true assertions.

PittieLover1 writes:

I may be biased here, but my late husband bought a motorcycle against my wishes and died on it 3 months later. I got really tired of people telling me 'At least he died doing something he loved.' NTA

Here's what OP said after reading the comments:

Thank you everyone for your insight. It has been very helpful.Not sure what is going to happen because after reading your comments and knowing myself I do not think I will ask him to give it up because I value his happiness too

However, this makes me so unhappy and each time he leaves on his bike I get very anxious and only feel better once he comes back in one piece. This is not very healthy for me and I have not been sleeping well due to worrying

I am a nurse who used to work on a ward with people who were in accidents and I used to see a lot of injuries in motorcycle drivers. That is probably why I have this irrational fear about bikes as everyone has rightly pointed out that people die all the time doing the most mundane things.

I really love him but know this is one thing he will never compromise on and I do not know if i should just seek therapy to deal with this problem myself as I may be acting irrational and in a selfish manner. I will sit down and consider my options and then I see where to from here.