Woman calls husband 'unreliable,' brings up story of time he left her stranded in storm.

When you experience a massive disappointment from a partner, you have two options: talk through it and move on, or take it as a cue to end the relationship.

While both of those options are harder than they sound, it take clarity and decisiveness to do the right thing. Attempting to hover in the middle, will only lead to sustained conflict and discomfort.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she's wrong for telling her husband he's unreliable after he left her stranded in a storm.

She wrote:

AITA for telling my husband he’s unreliable after he left me stranded?

Back in 2019, I (34) had just moved to a town that was known for flooding and I was about to experience my first flood warning and super storm. I was actually at work about 30 mins away but left early at 11pm due to weather. My bf (34) of 1 yr (we’re still together) was known to not answer calls/texts cuz it was rude if he was hanging out with his friends.

Before I left, I told him I was coming home early and that I was nervous about the drive. I asked him to please turn on his sound while at the bar since I was worried. He refused, telling me I was controlling because he was out so I asked him to keep the phone face up and on vibrate so he could feel/see the call and he agreed.

The storm was insane, I could barely see in front of me and the cars had their hazards on. Them an 18 wheeler starts to lose control and they come barreling towards me so I swerve and drive full speed into the grass on the side of the highway. Thankfully the 18 wheeler was able to avoid hitting me but the driver didn’t stop to check on me and make sure I was ok.

While I wasn’t physically hurt, I started to smell smoke and I jump out of the car afraid it was somehow damaged when I went off road. I grabbed my phone and jacket from the car to call my bf who was 15 mins away, to come and look at the car and make sure it was safe to drive. I call, no answer, and again. At some point, I went from scared to mad.

My car was still smoking and I was on the dark stretch of highway. Eventually, the car stopped smoking and I checked it out myself and got back on the road. Instead of going home, I drove to the bar where he was. I called 20 times and I just got mad with each ring.I decided I was going to break up with him give him a piece of my mind.

I pull into the parking lot and I can see that he’s laughing with his friends and enjoying his beer and his phone is face down. I call him one last time to see if he was actively ignoring my calls and he doesn’t even look down. I start to walk towards him and I swear I was so mad. At some point, he looks to up see me walking toward him with a look that could cut.

That’s when he looks down at his phone and I could see the color drain from his face. At that point I didn’t care if I embarrassed him so I apologize to his friends for the interruption but I have to drag him to the back of the outdoor bar to chew him out. Now, it’s still raining and I tell him to f#$k off since I’d spent 20 minutes in the rain and splashed by cars.

He says he’s not sure why I was mad, I wasn’t hurt and he couldn’t do much to help me anyways. I said I did have an emergency and he didn’t answer. So I told him off and I leave back to my place to cry and take a warm shower. He follows me home, apologizes profusely and I forgave him because he sounded sincere.

We are now married for 1.5 yrs and he says he’s dependable and I bring up that night. He said that it wasn’t bad since I wasn’t injured. So I told him I was posting this on Reddit to ask, AITA?

People didn't hold back one bit.

gymnasylum wrote:

Looks like the comment section is split in half. I'd say NTA for being mad at the situation as it is serious. However, YTA for taking him back and forgiving him, but refusing to drop the subject, even if it's been years. If I were in his shoes, I'd feel terrible changing for the better but being constantly reminded of my mistakes. If you can't really forgive him, you shouldn't be together.

Opinionated_Bae wrote:

If HE'S THAT UNREALIABLE WHY DID YOU MARRY HIM SO YOU COULD ALWAYS REMIND HIM OF THAT INCIDENT AND PLAY VICTIM? ????????

Idk if you can't let a incident go or forgive someone then don't continue the relationship it's like you're just continuing this to guilt trip them.

Strange_Lake7646 wrote:

It was one night and yes he was unrealiable that night. You also should have called the fire dept for assistance if you needed help. You chose to marry him anyway, so I'm guessing he has been better since? You can’t hold one night over his head for years, he apologized and you forgave him it’s time to move on. YTA for bringing it up again now. NTA for being upset that night.

PrincessVeganBimbo wrote:

YTA if you keep bringing this up. NTA for being upset with him back then, but you decided to forgive him and marry him for whatever reason.

You need to get professional help with this.

Willing-Round9851 wrote:

Sounds to me that you’re looking for validation and empathy. Often times we bring up an issue, no matter how ‘small’ or ‘insignificant’ it is to others, it’s because our minds/bodies have yet to get the closure needed. Given he’s still adamant on thinking he did no wrong speaks volumes.

You were in a dangerous situation you never experienced before and he ignored your calls because it’s ‘rude’ to answer your partner in case of an emergency? He could’ve truly tried to understand where he went wrong and said ‘I understand why you feel/think xyz. I apologize for not having been more receptive beforehand.’

And truly tried to understand how dangerous having been stranded and ignored for a young woman can be. Fast. I would’ve broken up with him back then.

vanoitran wrote:

YTA. Part of marriage is learning to grow with your spouse. Clinging to the past mistakes is stunting both of your growths. Talk about it in depth - calmly - make sure he understands how that event made you feel and that it’s important to you that he is looking at his phone when you two are apart.

He will probably ask a concession as well, because he probably has some emotional damage from you bringing it up so much. Then you both need to trust that you will keep to your word and move on.

Clearly, OP needs to learn to let go and trust him, or she should have left him years ago.