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Woman confronts husband for dropping their dog in field, he's angry she watched dashcam.

Woman confronts husband for dropping their dog in field, he's angry she watched dashcam.


We are living in an age of constant surveillance, both in our public and private lives.

While that can be incredibly dystopian, it also means you can get clear answers for some of the dangling daily questions.

For example, if a neighbor's been acting shady and you're convinced they've been meddling in your yard, checking the porch camera can provide clear answers. Similarly, if a partner is being dodgy and you have access to their dashcam or phone footage, you can check to make sure nothing is afoot. Of course, there are major ethical questions around invading a partner's privacy, even if your suspicions are correct.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for checking her husband's dashcam footage without his consent.

She wrote:

AITA for checking my husband's dashcam footage on his car without his consent?

I (34F) live with my husband (37M) and daughter (7F). My daughter and I recently went on a short trip out of state while my husband stayed as he had work and was supposed to look after our dog. On the last day of our trip, we got a call from my husband who was acting distraught and said that our dog Ellie had run away and that he could not find her.

He claimed she just bolted away from him in the park, into some bushes and he could not find her. Our dog is quite small, a mini poodle mix and almost 13 years old, she is still active but it is really unlike her to run away from us and I was suspicious but chose to believe my husband and me and my daughter were in grief but did not want to blame him. When we came back home, he seemed surprisingly ok unlike us.

Ever since the pandemic, my husband started working from home and he has always been annoyed at how much attention we gave Ellie and hated how Ellie begged to sit on our laps and his while he worked. A few days later we got a call from an animal rescue in a neighboring state quite far from us that she had been found.

I picked up the phone and it was on our landline which we almost never use these days but was the contact on the microchip. I told my husband and he just said 'that is great, I am so happy' but it felt kind of blunt and insincere. I said it is strange that she got so far and he responded that someone must have stolen her and then abandoned her. This made little sense to me as to why that would happen.

When he was out drinking with his buddies, I copied the videos from his dashcam for the days I was away and saw that he had indeed taken Ellie far out of state, and clearly dropped her in front of his car thrown a frisbee like object into a field, yelled fetch and drove off without her.

I was livid and confronted him and he just stupidly muttered how he dropped her there so she could find a farm and have a better life and then the next day got really angry at me for viewing his dashcam and called me and my daughter AHs.

People had strong opinions about this whole ordeal.

GardenSafe8519 wrote:

NTA. Keep your dog and daughter and leave the husband in another state to find another family he'd have a better life with.

Deep-Manner-4111 wrote:

Wow...NTA. You had a gut feeling and were absolutely right. This is horrible. What your husband did is SICK and cruel. He left an innocent animal to die. Obviously what you do now is up to you. But if it were me, I would never be able to trust him again. The entire relationship would be ruined. He needs to seek therapy if he is so insecure that he is jealous of a dog. Pathetic excuse for a man.

And OP responded, revealing she is filing for divorce:

Oh, I will never trust him again and I am going to be seeing a lawyer soon. I might have a lot to lose as I earn significantly more than him.

Janellewpg wrote:

NTA. I personally would straight up divorce him…my dogs are my family. Then he turns around and gets mad and calls you names. That’s the same tactic that cheaters use when their significant other finds something. Trying the ol’ uno reverso on you.

JhihnX had an urgent piece of advice:

NTA. Run. Really, OP, I don’t know what else to say. He drove out of state to dump your senior dog. Next time, he’s going to hit her with his car. He called you and your seven-year-old daughter AHs. If your dog is still in the home with you, move her to a friend or family’s. Like, tonight.

And OP responded:

My dog is currently at my parents place and he is livid about it and how he deserves trust yet still insists he did that for her own good.

Agitated-Jaguar3012 had a crucial question:

He called a 7-year-old an AH? What’s she got to do with any of this? Is she his kid? Because if not, you should probably rethink your relationship. I call my kids AHs…but not in the sense that they actually ARE…they just do AH things sometimes…cuz they’re feral. Also, he’s jealous of a 13-year-old dog. 🙄 This guy super sucks. NTA.

OP responded with more context:

'What’s she got to do with any of this'

He is always annoyed at how much time she spends with Ellie and has in the past accused her of like the dog more than her dad and sexist things about how daughters are not close to dads and see them as providers (I earn way more than he does and always have).

Clearly, this was the ultimate sign that this relationship has run its course, it's good OP was able to get her dog back and recognize her husband's horrible behavior before their kid gets even older and absorbs his world views.

Sources: Reddit
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