My husband (m38) and I (F35) have been married for 9 years. Early in our marriage, he had an affair with a former friend of mine. It went on for about 4 months before I found out.
We broke up for a short while before I eventually took him back and he promised me it would never happen again etc, etc. Although I have forgiven him, it left a permanent mark on our marriage and is often the elephant in the room.
Anyway, earlier this week, a colleague (30s, f) was telling me and another colleague (30s, f) that she had began suspecting her husband of cheating on her. Naturally, this led to me telling her about the affair my husband had had and how it had nearly broken our marriage.
My husband works for the same company and is head of his department. He actually helped me to get this job and I have been with the company for 6 months. Today my husband came home furious with me as someone told him he had overheard the conversation and it has now spread around the office.
He says I have jeapordised his position at the company after he had gotten me a good job. I told him I didn't do it out of spite, but it's not like I had made it up. I also reminded him of how much it damaged me at the time and that I've had to live with the image of him and my friend having a relationship behind my back.
Now he has gone to his mums house and said he needs some time away as he is so angry. I didn't do it on purpose and I have apologised but I think he is taking things too far. AITA?
Info - Did you have this conversation at work? If yes YTA, the workplace is not the sort of place to have that conversation, particularly when you husband works there. If no then I guess whoever decided to gossip about it is the AH, although I can see why he's upset.
throwaway1938478 OP responded:
Unfortunately, yes. But I didn't think anyone else was listening to our conversation.
YTA. Talking about it at YOUR job with people who don't know him is one thing. But you talked about it at HIS job. MAJOR AH move.
She's just glad she got in a dig. Way to destroy her husband's career.
F**k that. He cheated. Not her. She told the truth. Nothing is wrong with being honest. If he loses his job because he cheated, oh well! He shouldn't have fucked her friend for months. How fucked up are you for blaming his wife who did nothing wrong! She was honest.
No. You’re wrong. She took him back, they are married now. When you are married to someone, you don’t go around sabotaging their job, intentionally or not. Cheating is disgusting and she should’ve broken up, but she decided to forgive him so she needs to act accordingly. Two wrongs don’t make a right.