Woman snaps at wife who secretly bought yoga studio with their joint savings. AITA?

Money is one of the top reasons people get divorced or break up, which is hardly surprising when you think about how finances infiltrate every single part of our lives.

Understandably, when one partner makes a rash financial decision without consulting their partner, it can lead to some heated conflict.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for yelling at her wife after she used their money to buy a yoga studio.

She wrote:

AITA for yelling at my wife because she used our conjoined savings to buy a yoga studio?

Me (F32) and my wife Barbara (F34) have been married for 9 years, and together we have a son Kasper (M7). When my wife and I decided to get married, we also made the decision to make a conjoined savings account for if we ended up in an emergency.

Over the years, we’ve saved up a pretty big amount of money, which I really appreciate since I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to financial stuff. So a couple of years ago my wife started attending a yoga class regularly, and recently she has started making some comments about wanting to teach yoga.

I assumed she meant as a hobby and therefore I made sure to be supportive whenever she would talk about it. Fast forward to today when I am on our online bank about to transfer some money to our savings account and see that over two-thirds of the money has disappeared. I am of course confused and ask my wife about it as soon as she gets home.

That’s when she tells me that she has used all this money to buy a yoga studio, fully furnished with mats and all. I start yelling at my wife asking her why she would use our conjoined savings for this irresponsible purchase. She then tells me she used our savings because she has quit her job to become a full-time yoga instructor and therefore she didn’t have enough money herself.

I started screaming and yelling calling her irresponsible! She then says that I am the @$$hole for yelling at her instead of talking it through like an adult. We had to stop the argument because our son came home, and we don’t want to argue in front of him. Right now my wife is upstairs putting our son to bed and we will continue our conversation when he’s asleep. But now I need to know, am I the @$$hole?

People had a lot of thoughts about the situation.

Careless_League_9494 wrote:

NTA. That is a wildly inappropriate, and ignorant thing to do on your wife's part. I would be livid if my partner quit their job, and wiped out two thirds of our savings to buy a business without even consulting me first. What an unbelievably irresponsible, and self centered thing to do.

barrelomo wrote:

NTA — it’s not the yoga studio. Your wife made a huge financial decision without you: red flag. She didn’t lean on you as a partner to figure out how to make her dream come true: red flag. She didn’t discuss with you how this might impact the children: red flag. So many!

There were so many non drastic options like picking up a teaching position one night a week at a local gym before buying all that capital for a gym. I’m sorry you’re probably in for a really rough discussion but I hope you can work it out (and perhaps return most if not everything she bought).

Maelandrew wrote:

NTA - time to separate your finances.

I am neither a financial advisor nor a psychologist, just in case anyone gets confused by me providing some insight.

eagle2120 wrote:

NTA. She used BOTH of your savings to make a major purchase that will likely change both of your lives and schedules. Purchasing a business is a huge life change that involves careful planning and execution, and still has the potential to incur even more costs and outright fail in the future.

Buying it on a whim without even telling your SO is a massive AH move and beyond that, potentially a reason for separating.