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Woman asks if she's wrong for not updating husband who won't visit wife at hospital.

Woman asks if she's wrong for not updating husband who won't visit wife at hospital.


Hey one of my co-workers/friends came to me at work and said she had bad chest pain. That she needed to go to urgent care. I told her I would cover her shift we both got off in a hour anyways.

When I got off I noticed my friend sitting on the sidewalk crying in pain. She said The pain was much worse. She said her husband didn’t come.

I took her to the hospital myself. When we got there I sent a text to her husband telling him what hospital we were at. His reply was “cool update me in 20 mins.”

Long story short. Her gallbladder ruptured she needed immediate surgery. I called her husband and he said. “I don’t like the smell at the hospital. It makes me sick. Just notify me every 30 mins on how she is doing.” I told him no. that it was serious and he needed to come down. He didn’t reply.

My friend got out of surgery. The dr said she has a bad infection. She will need to stay in the hospital a couple of days.

I ended up calling my friends mom. Her mom immediately asked where her husband was? I told her what he said. Later I started getting mean messages from him he was really mad I didn’t give him updates like he asked.

My friends mom showed up and let me know she was texting and asking my friends husband for updates. He still doesn’t know my friends mom is with her now. I am starting to feel like I am the a for not telling him I called my friends mom. Or giving him the updates like he asked for.


My friend is doing better today. She has decided to separate from her husband. When I went to visit I got the whole story. When my friends sister and BIL went to my friends apartment they found her husband there playing video games.

When he was supposed to be at work. (Red flag) After my friend called her husband and pressed him. He told her he quit his job and didn’t want her to find out. That his job was too stressful and he didn’t want to work anymore. He lost his health insurance once he quit. Thankfully we have health insurance through our company.

My friend is covered. My friend said this was the final straw. She said he does nothing to help their family. They have a 2 yr old daughter he dropped off to the babysitter early this morning even though he was home.



I guess the bright side of having a medical emergency and having to spend multiple days in the hospital is that it revealed what a POS you married before he dragged you down into the mud.


Not nearly as serious, but when my ex had his wisdom teeth out, I took such good care of him. Literally spoonfed him smoothies and tolerated his weird sexual aggression (while he was sedated).

When I got mine taken out, I had to wait in the dentist's parking lot with a mouthful of gauze, drooling blood, for over 20 minutes because he had left to go shopping for a TV. (I was too embarrassed to go back in and wait inside.) Didn't do anything else for me, either.

Later, I had a brain hemorrhage, and he didn't take it at all seriously. Harassed me about getting a job. (My brain was literally scrambled for about a year.) Years later, he told me 'I thought you were just seeing spots.' Like wtf dude.

Been divorced a long time, now, and we're actually still really good friends. He's matured a lot and is a much better friend than he was a partner. (The same is probably true for me, too.)


I just want to know how many red flags people married to people like this willfully ignore before something like this happens. He didn't suddenly become this way overnight.

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