My husband informed me that his daughter Diana (14) is going out with her aunt. I asked him if they are taking my daughter Gia (15) as well but he said no. An hour later Gia showed me Diana's new post. It was a picture of her and her cousin in a fancy restaurant with the caption, 'Best auntie in the world. I feel bad for anyone who doesn't have a family who loves them.'
It was clearly meant for Gia to see. I was so damn angry that my daughter is being treated so unfairly that I decided to make things fair by myself. The next day I took Gia out to spend some time together. We got our nails done and went to Starbucks, then we went shopping and I took her to her favorite restaurant for dinner. She took pictures of everything and posted them on instagram.
After that I checked my phone and I had more than 10 missed calls from my husband. I called him and he started to yell at me saying I'm an asshole and a shitty stepmom for excluding his daughter.
I told him that his family always excludes my daughter and he never says anything but he yelled at me again and said what his family does is irrelevant, he treats both girls equally so I should do it too.
He took Diana and they are staying at his brothers home for now. My ILs are texting me calling me an asshole and other names. I was just protecting my daughter. If they refuse to treat them equally then it's the only way I can make things more equal.
Questions, answers and comments:
ClassyCrafter asks:
Info: does Diana often get girls trips with other family members while Gia normally doesn't?
I'm kinda confused on why your day out with Gia is seen as favoritism when it should be seen as a girls day out just like Diana's day with her aunt imo unless there'd some backstory to this.
throwawayils OP responded:
Yeah all the time.
Careful-Victory-8138 asks:
Where is Diana’s mom?
throwawayils responded:
She is not in her life. Left her after she was born
Snarkybish03 asks:
Is this the same Diana and Gia from the babysitting post? You need to grow up and realize that his family doesn't have to see Gia the same as their full blooded niece they’ve known all of their lives.
throwawayils OP responded:
I don't expect them anything anymore they made it clear when they gave Diana 'a raise' (she now makes 31 dollars an hour) instead of including Gia just to be petty. Now I'm trying to make it fair by myself.
ivylass asks:
INFO. It's most likely your SIL and her cousin wanted some one on one time with Diana. Do they NEVER do anything with Gia? Ignore her birthday and at Christmas? If so, you have a case. If not, then you're getting butt-hurt over nothing.
throwawayils OP responded:
They don't ignore her birthday or at Christmas but they never spend one on one time with her.
MystifiedByPeople says:
I mean, there's nothing the matter with her extended family spoiling Diana, but there's certainly something the matter with her posting nasty crap on social media. And, okay, it's ugly if the family knows she's doing this kind of thing and keeps encouraging it.
ESH, sadly. Diana, the most; her father for not stopping it; the extended family for continuing with this, knowing Diana's such an AH about it; and finally, you for trying to make up for it as a parent who should be a bit more fair to both daughters.
But, man, I don't know how a stepparent is supposed to treat a stepchild who's such an AH. I would expect that 14 is old enough not to be such a mean girl, but experience suggests otherwise.
throwawayils OP responded:
She is also a bully at school but all my husband does is putting her in therapy and gives her some mild punishments. If she was my child I would have stopped this behaviour months ago.
IAMETERNALALLTIME asks:
Why are you married to him?
throwawayils responded:
He is a good husband and a pretty good stepdad. His family is the problem.
BTCMachineElf says:
ESH. This is creating a rift between your girls and your husband shouldn't be cool with that. Gia absolutely will end up resenting Diana. But you can't demand your in-laws to include their step-niece.
Morrigan-71 says:
So your daughter has both her bio parents involved in her live, yet you think it's unfair Diana is being 'spoiled' by her aunts and uncles? That poor girl has to deal with the fact that she has literally been dumped by her bio monster, so yeah she deserves all the extra love and care her extended family gives her. YTA
throwawayils says:
Ok she deserves extra love from her family but they do it too much. She is very spoiled.