In this post women were asked to share stories of wedding proposals that they said 'no' to. Stories range from arranged marriages, to toxic partners, to right person at the wrong time. Here are 18 of the best.
1. NotMyRealName814 writes:
I enjoyed dating him but he knew I didn't want to marry before finishing college. I also saw how he and his father often treated his mother disrespectfully and I wasn't going to marry a guy like that. So when he showed up with an engagement ring I said 'No, thanks'.
2. Banana_boof writes:
I've said no to two. One was literally a stranger. The other was a family friend trying to not get deported. It has a happy ending though :)
He did go back, not long after he met someone traveling through, they stayed in touch and had a few visits with each other and the rest is history, he's been with his husband for about 16 years now and they have two adorable dogs called Boo and Dolly!
3. Jepuh writes:
I said no because I was barely 19 and he was 29 with a kid and financial issues. smelled fishy. I only dated him for 4 months, he was abusive, but at first I didn't notice, I broke up with him the day he proposed to me, he also wanted to try to get pregnant..... absolutely not
4. Arcade_Kay writes:
I said no due to the fact that he was proposing to save a doomed relationship. His family was worried I was going to leave him (which I was but due to him being controlling and abusive) and were planning on a family vacation where I would be trapped by his proposal to say yes in front of all his family.
I was warned about this by his younger sister who didn’t like me. Thankfully Covid hit and ruined the trip. I stayed at my mom’s house for the weekend and when I came back, planning on ending things. As soon as I told him I couldn’t do it anymore, he started crying and begging me to stay. He pulled out the ring from his pocket and proposed.
5. Colorado_Dream303 writes:
I felt the relationship wasn’t a two-way street. I went above and beyond, every single day, to try to make his life as happy and comfortable as possible because I loved him so much. He wouldn’t make the tiniest effort to do something kind for me.
I knew I was done when I sliced my finger almost to the bone, and he wanted to have s*x and go to sleep instead of allowing me to go to the ER for stitches.
6. Brooklyn_48 writes:
So I come from an Asian culture where many times parents arrange the proposal. I was matched with this guy who was super qualified from a rich family.
My family loved him but overall I felt like he would talk to me in a very condescending way and he had a low opinion of my family since we were not as rich as him.
Overtime, I never gained enough courage to say no to him because of family pressure but through my actions, I made it evident that I wasn’t willing to sabotage my life being with him. I became rude, unimpressed, ignorant towards him. And towards the end, this whole situation messed me up so bad that I ended up cheating. (Not happy about that decision)
Eventually he noticed how detached I was and decided to call it quits. I was very happy at being rejected. One of the blessed days of my life.
7. littleballoffurkitty says:
I said no to my now husband.
We had been dating about a year. And we were serious. I knew at that point that we would likely get married. However, for whatever reason we hadn’t actually discussed it, and I hadn’t put a lot of actual true thought into it. I was just enjoying dating him. When he asked me it took me 150% by surprise. I freaked out and said no.
Thank the Lord this is before it was common to photograph a proposal. After we had time to calm down he asked me if we were still a couple and if he needed to return the ring. I explained I was just very surprised and I did love him. He proposed again at a later date. We’ve been married for almost 10 years.
8. Curious-Gain-7148 writes:
These were the proposals with rings.
The first time, I was a freshman in college. I liked dating him, but also thought he would be a boring life partner.
When the second one proposed, I realized that I didn’t want to spend my life with him. He was insecure and jealous. We didn’t break up then, but it was a terrible break-up bc he went full stalker.
The third guy was sweet. He was kind. He cared for me and treated me well. But he had a lot of unresolved trauma that he didn’t want to seek help for. I kept hoping he would, but he just didn’t want to. It would creep up in our relationship in certain ways, and I knew the pressure of a life together would only make it worse on both of us.
9. mrelsmis writes:
It kind of felt like he was doing it as a band-aid for our relationship after he cheated. I told him to hang onto it when the time is right, but it never happened after that, I actually broke up with him, I recognized I could move on from the past but he couldn’t and wasn’t happy with me. It just wasn’t meant to be either way.
10. groveofcedars writes:
He was 10 years older than me and we had only been dating for 6 months when he proposed. I didn’t have enough dating experience to recognize that he was love bombing me.
Looking back now, the signs were really obvious, he was not subtle or unique at all. Thank goodness I realized being with him made my chest feel tight with stress not excitement and if I was going to get engaged it should bring me happiness.
11. Ok-Historian9919 writes:
My ex who I co-parent with manipulated my children into sending me messages that he wasn’t home and they were alone (2 and 7 at the time), had one of his employees call me and say he seemed to be having a mental break down.
I drove over an hour to get there just to find home with flower petals and candles everywhere, and my kids super excited about “mommy’s surprise and mommy and daddy getting married”.
I now have a restraining order.
12. macontac writes:
He thought we were dating, I thought we were friends. He thought I was a 'waiting for marriage' type of girl, I thought he knew I was queer. And honestly, a lot of our crowd were. He proposed at a mutual friend's party and I said 'no'. He got angry and to prevent a brawl some of the larger guys threw him in the pond.
13. Pleasant_Tiger_1446 writes:
When I wanted to get married he wasn't ready. When I told him Im leaving he asked purely out of desperation. This happened twice.
14. Enough-Attention-430 writes:
He proposed to me because he”felt me pulling away.” No. That’s not working through issues. It’s a silly band-aid that men seem to think is the be-all-end-all for a woman. If she’s unhappy, just propose. I’ve met tons of people who have been engaged for 5+ years. That ring was to shut her up and skim over the problems. Some men really think we’re stupid. 😂🙄
15. StarshipMuffin writes:
He left us to follow his dreams, which were honestly super lame and he thought all would be ok if he proposed. He left and I found my soul mate. I kept the ring and pawned it for back child support. He may have accomplished his personal dreams, but I’m not a carnival prize to be won.
Best choice I ever made was saying no. He was selfish. I have the best husband now. Don’t settle. If I could have done anything different, he asked me to keep the ring to “think about it” I should have said no to that part.
He left me with a baby and no money. Real class act. I pawned the ring and bought my daughter whatever she wanted with the money. We didn’t see him for like 4 years after that. Listen to your gut. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
16. Homosapien7742 writes:
I said yes at first. And it felt so wrong it only took two weeks to come out with a no after all. He didn't feel like my best friend. He didn't make me laugh. I felt like he was more concerned with the 'house, wife, baby, picket fence, mortgage, promotion' pipeline than actually wanting to be with me for me.
17. horsenamedmayo writes:
I was in a relationship for 9 years. We lived together for 6 of those years. It was fine. We didn’t fight. There was no drama. Just… fine. We went on a vacation together and by the beach he pulls out a ring and proposed.
I said no. In that moment I immediately pictured our “fine” relationship being forever and I couldn’t do it. It made me realize that fine isn’t good. That not fighting isn’t being in love. I felt sick and all I could imagine was a mediocre life I didn’t want. We broke up instead.
18. Sledgehammer925 writes:
Turned down my now husband twice. I loved him, (still do) but I was wasn’t ready. Have to hand it to him because he persisted and would ask me about twice a year. There were a few things I wanted that weren’t yet present. Once I saw what I was looking for, I accepted. Married 30 years.