I (44F) have a daughter (18F) and a son (15M). My daughter was “scouted” by a modeling agency when she was 15. Since then, she has been doing modeling jobs, including local ads and even fashion shows. She has walked in shows in New York and Paris. The money is minimal, but my husband and I put it all into a savings account for her college tuition.
When she was a kid, she always wanted to be a software developer like her dad. She had stellar grades in high school math, physics and in April was accepted into a prestigious computer science undergraduate program at a great university. We were all overjoyed for her. She accepted the offer and everything.
Today, she told me and my husband that she wanted to defer admission for a year and “focus on modeling”. Her agency has been pressuring her to relocate to New York City because there are more opportunities/jobs there. I was adamant that she enter school in September instead of moving to NYC to model.
I told her she would be wasting a year of her life when she could be spending her time getting her degree. She argued with us further and said that now she’s 18, she will use her savings to move to New York. I told her those savings were for her college tuition, not for her to waste paying thousands in rent and accomplishing nothing. She said “Its not like you guys can’t afford to pay for my tuition yourselves.”
My husband thinks we should let her do it, and start school next year. I am strictly against it. I think it will be a waste of her life and most importantly, I will worry for her safety. She is 18 but still so naive. AITA for putting my foot down on this matter?
garlicparmbreadknot wrote:
You should let your daughter pursue what she is passionate about, especially if you have the financial means to send her to school a year later. The money that she saved from modeling, while minimal, is money she earned. I understand that she once wanted to be a software developer, but I used to want to be a marine biologist and now I’m a personal trainer🤷🏻♀️
pinkunder wrote:
YTA. People regret the things they don’t do. Even if it doesn’t work out, it’s a life experience she needs to experience. She will resent you for the rest of her life if you don’t let her explore this opportunity.
robot428 wrote:
This is 100% correct, especially because it's not like college is going away - if she defers she won't even have to reapply. I don't understand why they would stop her from doing something she's passionate about that she can probably only attempt now while she's young. Lots of people take a gap year.
VogonShakespeare wrote:
YTA. My mom forced me to go to college a year early against my will and even though I’m nearly 30 now and have truly come to see the wisdom in “you’ll understand when you’re older” about most of our teenage me arguments, it’s the one thing I’m still bitter about. It cost me a lot, in more ways than one. Let your daughter model for a year.
It’s not like she’s telling you she never wants to pursue her other dream, she just wants to pursue this now while she can. She can always go to college later, but models have an “expiration date” in the fashion industry, unfortunately.
Moulinrougefan1 wrote:
A year is nothing. If it doesn’t work out, she can come back and continue with her degree. YTA.
It's not actually that hard to go back to college. It is actually impossible to go back to modeling.