Mom snaps at stylist who keeps asking if it's 'okay' to cut teen daughter's hair short.

Some parents have a lot of opinions about how their kid should style their hair, even going so far as to punish them if they rebel. Others, couldn't care less what their kids do with their hair, after all, it's just hair.

People working in salons are deeply aware of both sets of parents, and because of this, inevitably run into some awkward and unpredictable situations.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a mom asked if she was wrong for snapping at a stylist over her line of questioning.

She wrote:

AITA for telling the stylist to cut my girl's hair however they want and to stop asking me if I am okay with it?

My girls are 14 and 17. The both have short hair. The 14-year-old has 1/2 her head shaved as an undercut and the 17 is always doing weird things with her hair. Frankly, I don't care what they do with their hair, it's hair it grows back and it's on their head not mine.

So my 14-year-old said she needed a haircut as her hair had grown out for a few months. I took her to a chain salon, as I was pulling in my 17-year-old pulled beside me by surprise. She also needed a haircut, I said just come on and I'll pay for it. The 14-year-old told them what she wanted and showed them a picture, they turned to me and asked if I was okay with it.

I said whatever she wants I'm fine with, they cut it and asked if I was okay with it. I asked my daughter if she liked it, she said she wanted it shorter. They asked me what I thought...I told them to please cut another 2 inches off and shave the undercut shorter, they tried to argue that it looked more feminine at the length it was at, I said if she wants it shorter then do what she asks. They did, she loves it.

My 17-year-old was next and showed them a picture of some weird idea she had, they again asked if I was okay with it. I was annoyed at this point and said said she is 17 if she wants a buzz cut give it to her, if she wants some. Anime hairstyles go for it, but quit asking me, I already said let them have whatever they want, it is their hair.

The stylist looked visibly upset and my youngest said I was being rude. But I was just done with them asking me if what they wanted was okay, when I had already said more than once that they could have whatever style or cut they wanted So AITA?

People jumped to the comment section to weigh in.

OwnedByACrazyCat wrote:

NTA for the sentiment but I do think you were a little bit of an A H for your attitude to the stylist. I suspect that the stylist just wants to make sure you don't complain at the end of the hair cut - I could imagine parents saying do what they want and then just playing on their phone and being shocked at the end of the cut.

Disastrous_Cress_701 wrote:

NAH. I get why after the 3rd and 4th pushback from the hair dresser that you were over it. You weren't rude, you didn't yell or swear. I also get her re-checking with you because I'd say the hairstylist has probably copped more than a couple of sprays from parents peeved that their kid has gone and done something nuts to their hair.

The 'more feminine' line sucked, but I get her checking the rest. Not all kids are lucky enough to have a parent who understands body autonomy.

TripleAWingingIt wrote:

NTA. As a woman I cannot count the number of times I've gone in for a cut or color and the stylist has tried to refuse what I ask. Then I see people go into salons and walk out with rainbow hair or bright neon blue but my asking for blonde or a pixie cut is unreasonable somehow?

A few years ago I got sick of the BS. If I want to cut off all my hair or go platinum or whatever, do what I ask you to do. If you refuse, say that you refuse instead of beating around the bush and trying to talk me into something I don't want. But in the end, it's my damn head. Now, if a stylist starts trying to talk me out of something, I walk out and go somewhere else.

I'm not sure why stylists think they have some god-given right to tell customers they're wrong for asking for what they want. I get it. SOME people get upset. But ffs, give women the benefit of the doubt that yes, we know what the hell we want. Stop treating us like we're too ignorant to know what's best for us.

If it's that huge of a deal, start making people sign Non-Complaint Disclaimers--like an NDA. But don't just assume I have no idea what I'm doing or that I'm going to automatically freak out over a stupid haircut. Next week I'm going back to get a pixie and have it dyed platinum. No regrets. It's just hair--it'll grow out if I don't like it.

MuchPreferPets wrote:

NTA. I know it's not always financially feasible, but as a woman who has had non-traditional hairstyles for most of my nearly 50 yrs (including shaved head, undercuts, high & tights, pixie cuts, a rainbow of colors, etc) it makes life MUCH better when you find a good stylist who you go to regularly.

It is totally normal for them to verify that you really want shorter/more unusual things since it's not like they can glue it back on, but moving it into the sexist BS of them trying to argue that traditional feminine styles are better was absolutely unacceptable. They might as well have just said out loud 'can't have men thinking you're lesbians or trans'...I'd have lost my s#$t at that.

OP is absolutely NTA for respecting her daughters' bodily autonomy, the stylist sounds a bit over the line.