Social media is a great place to connect with friends, host discussions, share life highlights, and yes, publicly call people out for hurting or disappointing you.
We all have that social media friend, the one who has a stream of posts about ex-lovers who wronged them, frustrating family members, and whatever work drama is going on. While this can be entertaining to read from afar, the emotional repercussions from those posts can translate into IRL.
He wrote:
AITA for calling out my mom on social media for abandoning me on my birthday?
Context: I just turned 21 years old last month and I have spent the last few birthdays by myself due to being in college. About a month before my birthday, my mom and I are sitting in the living room when she asks me “What do you wanna do for your birthday this year?” I told her that it didn’t matter as long as I got to spend it with her, seeing as I was away at college for the last two years.
(I took a year off to help with family and to take care of my mental health) A week later, she tells me that she found a VR place that was open for my birthday and made reservations for us to go which I was ecstatic about. She knew how much I loved VR and her making the reservation was a good thing.
A few days before my birthday, she calls me from her job and tells me she canceled our reservation to go on a “date night” with her boyfriend. When I asked her why, she said it was the only day they could get a table for the restaurant. I told her she had made a promise to spend my birthday with me and now she’s breaking it. She then said to get over it and spend the day with my gf.
My gf works for a cruise line and is out of country until July. I ended up spending my birthday alone and made a post on social media calling my mom out for abandoning me on a milestone birthday. My family is now divided. Half are siding with me, and the others are saying I’m selfish and I went too far making the post.
I haven’t taken it down yet. So, am I the a**hole here?
Small disclaimer: this is a pattern of hers that has been going on since I was 12. Whether it’s my birthday, a competition, or an important event of mine this always happen. Just thought I’d add a little clarification. And for the people in the comments calling me her daughter, I’m her son. Her only son.
Imaginary-Fish4277 wrote:
NTA. Many people say OP should have called out his mom in private in stead of on SM, but that is exactly what he did. And then mom said to him get over it. So mom brought the well deserved call-out on SM entirely upon herself. Mom is a major AH, not OP.
MavisBeaconSexTape wrote:
Eh, NTA in a way because that's messed up to be ditched by your own mom on your bday... but honestly is that a social media post you want to look back on years from now or have show up on some anniversary reminder? Assuming it's Facebook I guess.
QueenYeen wrote:
NTA, not only did your mom cancel last minute but she was the one who offered in the first place. Does she do this to you a lot? That said, while I don't think posting on social media makes you an A H it is unclear what you wanted to happen when you did that?
Folks tend to look down on others who share personal info like that, and it's unlikely it'll make your mom change her behavior or apologize so even tho I don't think you're an A H for expressing your hurt and frustration you maybe have harmed yourself with this.
ctortan wrote:
NTA. Maybe it’s not the best idea to air out dirty laundry on social media, but some people will refuse to take accountability until they’re exposed for their behavior. She chose dinner with her boyfriend over the one thing her own child asked for for his 21st birthday. A MILESTONE BIRTHDAY in the US!!
OP is definitely NTA, and he deserves a mom who prioritizes him.