When a conflicted lottery winner decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about dividing up his winnings, people were ready to help him. Note: if the wife doesn't want to accept that kind of money, I'm available...
I recently won a ‘f*ck you’ amount of money. I won’t say exactly how much but it’s in the millions. It makes me feel funny even typing It’s enough to change the life of myself and my family.
My ex wife is the mother of my 2 kids. She is an amazing woman and good to the bone. We divorced 6 years ago because I had an affair with my current partner. I was in a low place in my life and I f*cked up.
She was in incredible pain but - like a f*cking saint- she allowed me to still see our kids who mean the world to me, allowed our divorce to be as pain free as possible despite the fact that I know she was hurting. She still is close with my parents. She is respectful to me although she refuses to talk to my gf.
She was actually the first person I phoned after my mom and pops after I found out I won the lottery. She was pleased for me, joked that I could take the kids on a world round trip, and that was that. Nothing else. As soon as I won, I knew I wanted to give her a significant amount. I still love her.
She’s the mother of my babies and I feel like this is some small tiny way I can show her that I’m not a complete f*ck up. She deserves to know that I care despite my mistakes. She also works a sh*tty job in the public library which pays her peanuts- she would actually be able to pursue her hobbies this way.
Give our kids a better life between us. I haven’t discussed this with my ex yet, but I have with my parents who strongly agree and my lawyer who was very surprised but on board.
Long story short, when I told my gf, she was my livid. Screaming that I’m disrespecting her, accusing me of still being in love with my ex wife- I’m not in love with her.
We’ve both grown apart, but of course I still love her for being an excellent co parenting partner and mother to my kids. My gf is threatening to break up with me, and tbh I’m feeling incredibly relieved over the threats. I don’t plan on changing my plans, but AITA?
NTA if you intended for the money to help out her and your kids. If you only intended to give it to her because you 'love' your ex wife then you're a bit of an as*hole (ESH) for making your current girlfriend a 'plan b'. The way she reacted was a little over the top, but to be expected since you are giving money to another woman (that you used to be married to).
Otherwise, you do have kids to provide for and it's none of her business because you're not married and you don't share the money.
NTA. And for what it’s worth, there are actually women out there who would see the value in a man that is respectful of the mother of his children. Your children will benefit from this in ways that have nothing to do with the money. And I’m no psychologist, but it sounds to me like you still have a lot of love and respect for your ex.
Make sure you aren’t staying with your girlfriend out of guilt for the role she played in the breakdown of your marriage. As in,”If I gave up my wife for her I have to make it work.” At least in this case, your girlfriend’s the as*hole.
NTA, at the end of the day, you still shared a lot with your ex-wife and that probably intimidates your girlfriend. In my eyes, the girlfriend is being extremely childish in this situation, and the fact that you’re feeling relieved about her threats says a lot about you too. Perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship and just focus on giving your kids the best lives possible now you’ve got the means to do so.
NTA the fact that you called her first means you still hold her dear in your heart and the maturity she showed after you destroyed her makes me understand why. Give her the money you were planning to give, give her double even.
But your GF is a witch if she can't understand that you have kids that deserve to partake of their father's wealth. Also the fact you haven't married your GF after 6 years together shows how you feel about her. Break up with her and enjoy your money with your real family.
NTA. Your money, your decision. I suspect the anger from your gf is probably just insecurity given the nature of how your relationship with her started.
NTA. I raised an eyebrow when you said you still ‘love’ your ex-wife, but your explanation of your feelings made complete sense to me. Clearly it’s not anything romantic. Is it so strange that you want to give money to the mother of your children, who, from the sound of it, is taking care of them most of the time?
I think your gf is being irrational and entitled, especially considering that it’s your money, not yours and hers. You can do whatever you want with it. Your ex-wife sounds like a saint for how well she dealt with the fallout of your marriage, she deserves the money. Congratulations on the win.
Dump your girlfriend. Prepare for a lawsuit. Set up trusts for the kids and ex-wife so they never have to worry about money again. Invest about 85% of what you have left.
F*ck off with the remainder and do whatever you want. Give me $1000. Also, I would suggest finding and reading that list someone made about what lottery winners should do if they win, as it’s going to have a lot of valuable information for you.
Everyone agreed unanimously here that this man wouldn't be wrong at all to give his ex-wife and mother of his children a gift after winning a life-changing amount of money. If his girlfriend is fighting it, she's either greedy, jealous or both. Good luck, everyone (and don't forget to Venmo us, thanks).