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Man wins $1000 gambling with 'fun money,' refuses to share with wife, she's mad. UPDATED.

Man wins $1000 gambling with 'fun money,' refuses to share with wife, she's mad. UPDATED.


Money is one of the number one things that people fight about, and it can tear apart romantic relationships if not properly addressed.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he was wrong for not sharing his gambling winnings with his wife. He wrote:

"AITA for telling my wife she's not entitled to my gambling winnings and to find a side hustle if she wants more spending money for herself?"

My wife (32F) and I (33M) have been together for 5 years, married for 3. I make $150k and my wife makes $50k. We are not super rich for the city we live in but we are able to lead a comfortable lifestyle well within our means. Since we don't have kids yet, we are able to spend more on ourselves and each of us gets $500 of 'fun money' every month to do with as we please.

My wife likes to use her money to buy clothes for herself or go out for brunches with her girlfriends. My hobbies are all over the place. I do something for a while but then bored of it quickly so I stop. I need something that gives me a 'thrill' so that I get that rush of dopamine. So, I decided to pick up gambling. There's a casino about 20 minutes on foot from where we live so every Saturday I go there to gamble $100.

I only take the $100 and leave my wallet at home so that I'm not tempted to spend any of our joint money in case I lose. For the most part, I break even or lose some money. My wife hates that I gamble because she thinks I'll go down a "destructive path" but I honestly love it and do it anyway because that's what makes me happy, much to her annoyance.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I got lucky and ended up making $1,000. I was obviously super delighted since I never won this much before in my life. I decided to buy a PS5 and a few games since I never owned a gaming console. When my wife found out I bought all this stuff, she asked me how I was able to spend so much since all of it cost around $700-800. I told her about my winnings.

She got upset and said I should have given half of it to her. I told her I got this money from my share of the 'fun money' so it's my choice to do what I want with it. She said only the original $500 is mine. The $1000 is an income and should be shared between us. I disagreed because I don't claim 50% of her possessions when she goes out shopping. She called me selfish for only thinking about myself.

She wants to go on a girl's trip and this extra money would have helped her afford it. I told her what I do with my money is my business and if she wants more spending money, she can figure out a side hustle instead of using me like an ATM. She complained about me to her friends and they're all calling me a financial abuser for "stealing" what rightfully belongs to her.

I think they're all being entitled AHs but I would appreciate some unbiased perspective into my situation. AITA?

The internet had a lot to say in response to this ordeal.

Independent-Pay-9442 wrote:

You’re NTA, but this is a terrible way for you both to behave in a marriage, do you even like each other? Why is she b#$ching to her friends about you and going on girls trips? Why did you win $1000 and not even take your wife on a date or away for the weekend? Why does it matter who earns what for the context of this story?

And OP responded:

I know things seem bad from this situation, but honestly things are pretty good for us. We get along well and have had no real conflicts before this. As for why I felt the need to spend all of the money on myself, I usually have quite a bit of money left over since I don't lose all $500 gambling every month.

I make some money back sometimes so overall I have about $150-200. That money is spent on our dates since she usually blows through her 500 every month.

TCsleep wrote:

ESH. So if she wins the lottery with her fun money, all the winnings will be forever hers and you will not expect any share of it.

JasJoeGo wrote:

ESH. Nothing says true love and a resolve to work through problems together like a, ignoring your wife's legitimate concerns about a famously destructive vice because it makes you happy, b, suddenly becoming an accountant when there's money to be gained from each other, and c, complaining to friends about problems in a marriage. You both sound awful.

aspdx24 wrote:

ESH, what a fun marriage you two have🙄

ChristianUniMom wrote:

NTA. It came out of your entertainment budget and it’s insubstantial. If she was at a restaurant that had a promotion and won a free app would she be obligated to take it home and split it? If you won a life-changing amount that would change bill splits or something then I’d have a different opinion.

While the internet can't fully agree on a verdict, it seems they've mostly landed on ESH.

Sources: Reddit
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