'AITA for letting my son 'flaunt' his lifestyle in front of his less fortunate cousins?'
"AITA for letting my son 'flaunt' his lifestyle in front of his less fortunate cousins?"
aitahfamilyissues
My husband and I only have one child, our son Gorham, who is 14. We love him to death and spoil him lots, but we also are trying to shape him into a humble and appreciate person. Thankfully we’ve never had any issues, he’s a very quiet and well mannered boy. He volunteers and is well liked among his peers.
My sister has five kids ranging from 8-18. Recently we were all attending my mothers birthday party. My mother was asking my son about how his sports are going, and his studies.
He’s doing cross country right now to prepare for lacrosse in the spring, and he recently started at the highschool building at his academy. He was very excited and shared with his grandmother about how much he likes the school.
One of my sister's boys started whining about how it’s not fair that Gorham gets to go to private school and wear nicer clothes and other things. Two of her other kids started agreeing and whining. They complained that they wanted to play sports too (my sister can’t afford to buy equipment and doesn’t have time to take them to events).
I felt bad for them and stayed quiet, letting them vent. I don’t think it’s fair to them that my sister had more kids than she can reasonably provide for. They’re always scraping by because feeding and clothing so many kids is expensive.
But my sister had the audacity to lecture me about how I shouldn’t let Gorham talk about things that his cousins don’t have. I feel like talking about being excited for school and sports is a normal thing for a teenage boy? It’s not like he was talking about how much his shoes cost or something d*^%$sh like that.
Also, his grandmother was asking him questions. He was mostly replying to her questions. I stood up for us but my sister and I aren’t talking. My parents took my side and think she’s taking her issues out on me, but our brother things I should just let it go and apologize.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
123yellowtrees
NTA your son wasn’t even bragging just talking about his life. Yeah sucks for the cousins he’s more fortunate but that’s how life works sometimes.
TheFamousHesham
Also… since when were sports considered “spoiling your kids?” Sure, kids enjoy them and can be a luxury for most families, but it’s also a thing that all families provide their children if they have the means to.
dickinso72
Don't let her guilt trip you over her failings as a parent.
anaofarendelle
NTA. He wasn’t flaunting, he was telling his grandmother what is happening in his life - what is fairly uncommon for teens. You let your siblings complain and vent on how life is not fair, and understood their frustration. Your sister is out of line for saying anything! You’ve done everything right. Your sister is taking her frustration out on you.
akaPledger
NTA, to be brutally honest she shouldn’t of had kids (or so many kids) if she couldn’t provide them basic opportunities like sports. She probably feels insecure that she can’t provide them things she should be able to provide and is taking it out on you.
Far-Pickle-2440
He wasn’t flaunting! He was responding to a question from his grandmother. Is his relationship to his grandmother to be conditioned on his cousins?
I ask this as someone sensitive to the cousin’s general situation. It does suck to be too poor for the things you want, and to watch family members have it and not be able to understand why. It really does suck.
But then again, the ages at which one can be excused for moaning don’t include teenagers. NTA in any case, and the cousins are a**holes if they can’t shut up over the age of 12 MAX.
Petriskit
You named your kid Gorham?
You might not be the AH, But you are mean lol.
aitahfamilyissues OP responded:
His name is Gorham III , it’s his fathers family name. He really likes his name and he’s never been bullied for it. Sometimes kids joke that it’s a fancy old man name but he laughs at it. He really looks up to his grandfather so I think that’s why he likes the name a lot, they have the same name.