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Woman's FMIL accuses her of 'overshadowing' her at wedding anniversary. Pics Included.

Woman's FMIL accuses her of 'overshadowing' her at wedding anniversary. Pics Included.


"FMIL is 'so devastated' because I ruined her wedding anniversary party by overshadowing her. I don't think I did."


FMIL had her wedding anniversary party last Saturday - Sunday, she wore a poofy pink wedding dress, had huge hair with jewels in it, a huge diamond necklace and other jewellery like a tiara, and her makeup can best be described as 'super glam makeup'. She claims I overshadowed her and ruined her big night, we can't upload images on here but I'm just going to link everything I wore down below.

The OP shared images to help readers cast their judgment:

My dress, shoes, hair inspiration, makeup inspiration, bracelet

Anyway, FMIL looked gorgeous! So I'm not sure why she's "so devastated" she can't stop crying or get out of bed. Most future in-laws don't agree that I overshadowed her but they still think I should apologise so everyone can move on, FH's family hates drama yet they always have it.

My sister thinks I deserve an apology because she was ice cold to me the entire night and then posted poorly cropped out photos of me onto the family group chat. FFIL posted lots of photos then posted a photo of the two of us and said it was a great night, FSIL sent me the screenshot because it was deleted in minutes and replaced with one of FMIL.

FSIL forwarded these messages to me "FSIL how can you DARE say she looked good? She overdid it! Too much makeup! The dress was too sexy for SOMEONE ELSE'S EVENT. Did you not see FH groping her all night????

He couldn't keep his hands or eyes off her AND SHE LOVED IT!!!!!!" "She told him to stop did she? That cow loves attention he knows she didn't mean it" "I barely saw FH because of OP, I cannot stand her!" "The c!nt sending FH to me without her was her messed up way of showing me she owns him, if she had not he wouldn't have left her side."

"FH is like (dog's name) now!" "Where did they go when they left your table after FIL's speech?? To have sex!!! She's so classless was she even wearing anything under that "dress"???? FSIL she's ruined your brother!!!! He never behaved this way with FH's ex." FH's ex looked stunning adn elegant. THATS HOW YOU DO IT."

Context/important background:

My FMIL (60s) isn't keen on me (24F) or my relationship with FH (31M). FMIL hasn't straight up said "OP I don't like you and I don't want you to be with FH" because she's more subtle and passive-aggressive than that instead she says things like "Hi OP, I hope you didn't take what I said the wrong way, FH loves you very much and I wouldn't EVER want to hurt your feelings.

You know how upsest he gets with me when I misspeak! All I was saying is you're so so so young sweetheart, FH is ready to settle down and have kids. Knowing him he'll knock you up as soon as possible.

You're happy together now but the stress of children takes that away. How will you run your business with mini FH's running around everywhere? You aren't even in your mid-twenties yet, while your friends are partying and living it up do you really really really want to be a stay at home mum all alone in the big house FH will put you in?".

I sent this to my mum, aunts and friends and they all said FMIL doesn't want me with FH and she doesn't like me. Since then I've stayed away from her at parties and barely spoken to her, I'm glad she sent me this early on in our relationship because I immediately stopped putting in effort with her.

Why put in any effort with her when she clearly wants FH with his ex, I say its clear because she invites her to parties and tries to have FH sit with her and me sit on the opposite side of the room with single friends and family.

Unfortunately for her FH doesn't care about her place cards so we always end up sitting away from her and FMIL. I'm pretty close with FH's cousin and she told me FMIL constantly complains about having to invite me to her parties because if she doesn't A. FH says he's not coming or, B. stops talking to her.

She pretty much says I use Devil Vagina Magic on FH which is why they aren't as close as they used to be. Its my fault he sees how she treats me, calls her out on it and doesn't really speak to her anymore.

She called me to personally invite me to her wedding anniversary party before she sent out the invitations and she told me I look like a supermodel so I should be mindful and tone it down, no high heels because I'm tall enough, natural makeup etc, its her night. Her invitations told us what fabrics to wear, dress shapes, colours etc and I followed it.

Here were the top rated comments from readers:


So you wore a simple (and gorgeous) dress with appropriate shoes , the most basic hairstyle possible, understated makeup, and a classic bracelet - and she felt overshadowed? I suspect she would have complained no matter what you wore.

From what you've said, she just doesn't like you. I do have to ask, though - did you wear an actual Cartier bracelet, or just something similar but not as costly?

The OP responded here:


That's what I think as well, it doesn't matter what I could've worn. Also her photographers took hundreds of photos (according to FSIL) but she only picked the few we were in together to crop me out and post in the groupchat.

I have no idea how she had time to find those while being so devasted and crying her eyes out.I can't wait to see myself cropped out in the family newsletter this Friday as well! :) I got the bracelet as a gift from FH, I would never spend so much on jewellery.


Someone wants to subconsciously bang their son and is jealous. That’s what this is.


She wanted you to look plain and underdressed so that she could make nasty comments.abiut your looks. Instead, you were the picture of understated elegance looking lovely. This is her problem and you should NOT apologize.


Does FH know about the messages FSIL forwarded to you? And I would keep those messages and forward them to anyone in the family trying to say you need to apologize. And for the love of everything DO NOT APOLOGIZE to the witch.

So, do you think the OP did anything wrong here? What do you think the real issue is?

Sources: Reddit
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