'Husband pressures wife to 'save the house' after secretly signing it to his mother.'
'My husband signed our house over to his mother."
National-Chicken7926
I am extremely overwhelmed and this is a long story I'll try to make this as coherent as I can. My husband and I have been married for 11 years. When we got married my in-laws gifted us a down payment for a home.
I was beyond grateful because my own parents have never been able to provide for me like that. My husband doesn't seem like a "mama's boy" because he doesn't speak to his mom often, but whenever she asks him to do something he does not hesitate.
That wouldn't be an issue if my own requests didn't go unanswered. My home is an unfinished fixer upper, and I don't think he's planned a single date or vacation once in our marriage.
We have been living in this home for 11 years, paying the mortgage, taxes, utilities, and doing repairs and renovating the house on our own. I have made compromises and sacrifices to make this house a home. I didn't go to grad school because we couldn't afford it, and my husband wanted to save more money to finish the house and so we could have children.
About 6 months ago my MIL moved in. There was no conversation, she just arrived one day and had my SIL informed us of her plans. I told my husband I didn't want her to live with us, I never have, and that has always been my stance since day one.
My MIL has some mental health issues that make being around her very difficult. As you can guess I lost that battle. Now my MIL is saying she wants to sell the house. I told her she can't just take our home from us only to find out my husband signed our house over to his mother two years ago.
She paid off the remainder of our mortgage and convinced him to put the house in a trust IN HER NAME. All behind my back. I guess he thought because I was never on the deed I didn't get a say? I really don't understand what was going through his head that day.
So now this really is her house. My husband and I tried to reason with her and tried to get her to understand we are not leaving our home. We spent too much time and money on the last 11 year to just lose everything.
She proceeded to call me a liar and accused me of only married my husband for the house and their family's money. My husband is now putting all the pressure on me to "save the house." I wanted to go back to school and I found an inexpensive route.
I take one class a semester at a community college and the plan was to go to the state college near by for the rest of my classes. It is going to take a long time, but at least I'm doing it.
My husband wants me to quit. He wants me to change jobs, and is putting pressure on me to have a baby. But then when we are supposed to conceive, suddenly he feels "rushed." I don't know what to do. If I leave I literally leave with nothing. Just my clothes and my cat. That's all I have.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
DarbyGirl
Leave. You'll be better off with just you and your cat than with this backstabbing jacka$$ a$$hat and his mother.
Endora529
Start your exit strategy and go. Your husband puts his mother before you. It’s not going to change. Take your cat and leave. Finish your education. Don’t have any kids with him. Run far away.
Introvert_soul_
Your husband has no respect for you & marriage. Never put you on deed & signed house over to his mother. Also, allowed her to come & take over. Do NOT get pregnant for him! Get a good divorce lawyer & leave him. He does not value you! Keep your head up & do what's best for you.
nemc222
Your clothes and your cat are all you have right now. Your husband gave your house away and you and he have no say what happens to it now. his discouraging you completing your education and wanting you to have a baby is just another way to trap you deeper into this mess. He betrayed you and now wants you to fix it. Time to go.
mamamama2499
I’m sorry but if this was me and my husband betrayed me like this, I would seriously divorce him. He has basically lied to you, these last two years. And now he’s expecting you to save the house.
Nahhh screw that!! It’s obvious, your husband does not see you as an equal partner and he does not respect you. You need to open your eyes. I would also be wondering, what else has he kept from you.
SkiesThaLimit36
Take it as a sign from above NOT to have a baby with this man. I thank god everyday I didn’t have kids with my ex husband who had a mega controlling “mentally unstable” family. The thought of having to give my child to them on Weekends and summers still sends a chill down my spine. Cut your losses. Leave now & get your degree.
Important_Truth10
It escapes my understanding why you would put your money into a house that isn’t in your name but that ship has sailed. You should gather financial documents that show your contribution to house expenses and mortgage. A home may very well be a marital asset regardless of who is on the deed. You need to figure this out with a divorce lawyer and plan your divorce. Your husband is a loser.