MIL goes ballistic when she learns her grandchild will be a boy; says, 'it's all your fault.'
"MIL is upset we're not having a girl"
AnActualMudpup
I'm 17 weeks pregnant. From the very beginning, MIL was convinced her first grandbaby was going to be a girl.
Literally days after we announced I was expecting, she gave us two packs of pink onesies, started referring to my barely developed blob child as "Laura" (apparently the name she wanted for the daughter she never had) and called my 94-year-old grandmother just to get her to confirm boys aren't common in my paternal family.
She's been pestering us about a gender reveal party since the start of my second trimester, and threw a small tantrum when we told her we weren't having one.
She's been rude about every decision we made about the baby. She hated all our boy and girl names, criticized our nursery ideas and has been insistent on me having a natural birth (which I probably will anyway, but both her deliveries were c-sections, so I have no idea where that's coming from). It became clear that she wholeheartedly thought I'd only gotten pregnant to make her a grandma.
Anyway, neither me or DH cared about our baby's sex, but we spontaneously decided to find out during my latest ultrasound this week. It's a boy! We're over the moon.
When we got home, I called my mom. She's excited! I called my dad. He's surprised! I called my sister. She's happy! Everyone's happy!
DH called his mom.
Someone put that poor injured dolphin out of its misery, for the love of Christ.
I swear, I could hear her banshee wailing from across the living room. The phone wasn't even on speaker. Toni Colette's character in Hereditary had less of a breakdown.
DH let her cry and scream incoherently (I'm pretty sure she was saying "My Laura!" between her sobs) for about a minute before he told her to call him back when she's calmer and hung up on her.
He was devastated. I think that up until that point he hadn't registered how obsessed his mom was with us having a girl, he just thought she was excited to find out the sex. He was so excited to tell her.
I managed to cheer him up, and we told a couple more people. We told his brother, who was very happy for us. Some of our friends didn't even know we were pregnant, so we included the sex in our announcement. The next day, we were going over our boy names to figure out which worked best with our last names. That's when MIL called us back.
We were both hoping she'd apologize for her tantrum. Instead, she immediately started going on about dozens of articles she'd read about how often ultrasounds were inaccurate and questioning my doctor's education based on what university she'd gone to.
A screaming match started between her and DH. He was telling her off for reacting the way she did. She was trying to defend herself (and failing miserably) by claiming it was our fault, that we knew how much this meant to her and that we'd "ruined her day" by blindsiding her the way we did.
My favorite part?
MIL: "And you had to tell me now? You couldn't wait until the gender reveal?"
DH: "Mom, for the tenth time, WE WEREN'T DOING A GENDER REVEAL!"
And after some back and forth, it turns out she thought we were going to throw a surprise gender reveal party. Just for her. Yeah, right.
To clarify, MIL was never expecting a girl and never experienced any pregnancy losses. She always wanted a girl, but had two sons instead. Laura was the name she always wanted to give her daughter, not the name of a child she lost. I'd be more sympathetic if she was grieving, but that's not the case.
MIL eventually did apologize for upsetting us, but still made it very clear she was "disappointed". We don't care. She lives half an hour away and hates driving to our place, so it's not like we'll see her much until the baby's here. We're still pissed, but we're used to that. Feeding the Kraken never helps. So in conclusion, we're having a son. And if we ever have a daughter, we're not naming her Laura.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
FriedaClaxton22
Thank God you're having a boy or I'd be scared for you.
linden214
You may have dodged a bullet. If your little one turned out to be a girl, no matter what you named her, what do you want to bet that MIL would be calling her Laura in private? Or worse yet, “my Laura”.
cakeresurfacer
I’ll say a prayer for you that they didn’t make a mistake on the ultrasound because holy hell that may be even worse than the current predicament.
Congrats on what I gather to be a healthy, normally progressing baby!
heresgina
I honestly think your MiL needs serious help from a professional. That is not anywhere near a normal reaction. So sorry you are dealing with this.
WellyKiwi
Please stop telling her anything about your pregnancy, name decisions, etc. Just tell her that she'll find out after the birth (to which you must NOT invite her!). Best of luck!
Kaypeep
This woman sounds like she has some very deep seated issues, and was using your baby to deal with them. I'd be putting her on an info diet and keeping her at a safe distance when baby is born. Even though it's a boy, it doesn't mean she isn't viewing this as HER baby, and she will turn possessive. Stay vigilant and good luck.
ShepardCantDance
Wow!!! She is extreme! Good job you are having a boy, because she would have gotten even worse if it had been 'her Laura'. Your Hereditary comment made me laugh so much 🤣 Good luck and I look forward to hearing how it goes!