Woman's MIL invites herself on week long couple's vacation in Mexico.
"She invited herself on our vacation..."
I’ve never posted here before, just lurked, but I am struggling so much with this, I need some advice and TLC. DH just got a new job, and we are super thrilled. He needs to burn his PTO before he quits, so he booked us a last minute trip to his family’s time share in Mexico two weeks ago. We leave Saturday.
Last weekend, JNMIL found out we were going and invited herself along. It’s her time share, she’s perfectly within her rights to do that, but I feel completely railroaded. She’s not bringing anyone else with her, which means DH will be expected to entertain her the entire week, and I won’t get a single break from her unless I remove myself from the situation and spend all my time alone.
DH has tried to set boundaries with her about our time together (ie eating some meals without her, having alone time in the afternoons) and so far she has completely ignored them.
She made dinner reservations for the three of us for the entire week, and yesterday even mentioned wanting to get massages with us. She cannot stand being told no and has thrown fits in public in the past when she doesn’t get her way, so I know DH will cave to every demand she makes while we’re there.
She came over for dinner last night and told me “Sorry I’m taking over your vacation, I just need to do this for myself” and I swear she looked so smug. She knows exactly what she’s doing and she knows she won. I’m making myself sick over this. I struggle with social anxiety and she makes it skyrocket, and I’m starting to worry that this trip is going to damage my mental health.
If anyone has any tips or tricks on how to not let JNMIL get under my skin and ruin my entire vacation, I would greatly appreciate it.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
I would stay home, book a spa day locally, and order takeout. ???
Don’t go. And tell them both exactly why. Don’t fake sick or anything. Just say: I wanted to relax with my husband not entertain my mil, and I’d rather spend the week alone relaxing at home.
Cancel your trip to the time share and book somewhere closer to home that is just the two of you.
If your MIL complains tell her that this was intended to be a COUPLE vacation, not a threesome with your MIL. And while you are aware you cannot stop her from going to her time share you and your partner CAN choose to go somewhere else.
This prevents her from having public tantrums while on your vacation. If she decides to have a tantrum here, you are allowed to walk away. She is not a toddler, she is an adult - you two are ? allowed to leave.
To teach SO a lesson, I wouldn't go. And I would specifically say bc his mother is coming. While it may not be his fault, it's his responsibility. Spend that time how you would like to, no regrets.
We all have advice pretty much along the same lines but you also asked for tlc. Please choose your peace and yourself first if no one else is willing to. You know this isn’t right so be kind to yourself. Imagine if you were your daughter and her mil wanted to do this.
Would you tell your child to isolate to stay sane or tell her to come visit you for the week so you all could do stuff you know you would like? Be the mother to yourself you would be to your children and ask if you would be ok with someone treating them like that.
You and hubby deserve alone time. That’s it. That’s the tlc. You deserve the Trip you and he planned with each other.