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MIL gives speech against bride's wishes, so she shouts loudly over it. AITA?

MIL gives speech against bride's wishes, so she shouts loudly over it. AITA?


Something old, something new, something borrowed and something rude.

One bride was adament that she didn't want any speeches at her wedding. So, when her mother-in-law rejected this premise, she fired back. Now her mother-in-law and husband are both giving her the cold shoulder.

'AITA for refusing to listen to MIL's speech on my wedding?'


So I hate speeches. I never understood the appeal. I think they are boring, exhausting and very very forced but having said that, this is just my opinion and I never forced it on anyone. I have sat through long excoriating speeches without complaining like any other decent human being.

When it was my turn to get married however, I requested no speeches. We wrote that we loved everyone and that we knew they loved us so if you want to say anything say it to us directly, in private.

My husband thought it was funny but he knew my feelings about speeches. We had a small wedding with only loved ones. a weekend long. My husband loves games so the wedding planner did a really great 'task master' type of games and everyone appreciated it.

Dinner came and MIL stood up and started by saying (I know we are forbidden to make speeches by the bride but this is my only son getting married so I will do what I want to....) I didn't hear the rest because I was seeing red.

My sisters and bride's maids were shocked. I pretended like she wasn't talking and continued my conversation with my girls. They did the same.

MIL was furious, both SIL's were furious and my husband was very angry that it showed in his profile, he refused to look at me. The rest of the night was awkward. My husband's side sulking in their seats. I wanted to make sure it wasn't ruined for the rest of us and we ended up having a blast. The next day I spent with my family and friends.

My husband said that I was very wrong in what I did. I couldn't force MIL to stfu and he knew she wouldn't no matter how much we told her. I should't have disrespected and humiliated her like this. Our marriage started on the wrong foot it seems. AITA?

PS: MIL loves making speeches, sometimes 15min long and not unusually mean speeches (disguised as humor that often isn't appreciated at all by the room.

Here were the top rated comments from readers:


Well that’s unfortunate that the day you got married you found out your husbands always gonna pick his mom over you. Such disrespect from MIL. NTA.


Your husband showed you who he actually priorities and it isn’t you. Expect this behaviour to escalate. Kids? You know she’s going to want to be in the room because IT’S HER ONLY SONS’ BABY and it’s her right. She’s going to demand naming rights, and to move in to “help”.

It’s early enough to get annulled (divorced, whichever. Just away from This family) if you (rightly) decide you deserve someone better. You are NTA right now, but you’ll be an ass to yourself if you lock yourself to being second place to this emotionally stunted family.


ESH. She did the ONE thing you told her not to do, but… it’s not all about you. Your husband has a family of people as well, and you were rude to them. But then again she was also rude to YOU, while acknowledging that she was blatantly ignoring your wishes.

Yeah, everyone sucks here, MIL is entitled (I’ll do what I want”) and sucks a heck of a lot more, but everyone sucks.


NTA, your husband has no backbone and worse he didn’t back you up. You have every right to have your wishes respected. Then your MIL had the audacity to call you out. You’re going to have a heck of a time setting boundaries with that one. Good luck.


ESH. Your husband for not standing up to you during the wedding planning and saying that he wanted his mother to give a speech at his wedding (which imho is totally reasonable)

MIL for crossing the boundary.

You for being rude AF in front of everyone.


NTA. Not only were you clear, but she ACKNOWLEDGED that it's forbidden. I wouldn't even look at her again after that. NTA but MiL is definitely TA, as is ANYONE taking her side. Either follow the rules, or you don't go. You don't get to make your own rules at someone else's wedding.

So do you think the OP was wrong for icing her mother-in-law's speech or was she simply standing her ground?

Sources: Reddit
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