'My future MIL's song choices for the mother-groom dance are...interesting.' UPDATED
"My future MIL's song choices for the mother-groom dance are...interesting."
Disclaimer: I know this isn't the most high-octane wedding drama but I just had to share because wedding planning has been a bit of a slog lately and this recent development was equal parts cringe and questionable (also pretty entertaining to me but not so much my fiancé).
We are doing Bride/Father and Groom/Mother dances at the reception. The other day, FMIL sent my fiancé her list of potential songs she'd like him to pick from. She prefaced this with something along the lines of "I spent all day thinking about our relationship and these are the songs that I think really capture it."
Keeping in mind that my fiancé is both an only child + her "miracle" baby and she openly objected to me for a very long time...
I'd like to highlight some of her suggestions and my favorite lyrics from them:
If We Hold on Together, Diana Ross
"Someone is praying, please let us come home to stay. If we hold on together I know our dreams will never die... Where clouds roll by for you and I."
You are the Sunshine of My Life, Stevie Wonder
"And if I thought our love was ending I'd find myself drowning in my own tears. You are the sunshine of my life, that's why I'll always stay around."
ABC, Jackson 5
"But without the roots of love everyday [girl], your education ain't complete. Teacher's gonna show you how to get an A."
Can You Feel the Love Tonight, Elton John yes, the song synonymous with the Lion King scene of two lions doing it
- "When the heart of this star-crossed voyager beats in time with yours. And can you feel the love tonight? It is where we are."
Considering the optics and overall ick, Fiancé was not happy with the list. Meanwhile, with everything we've been through, I've had no choice but to adopt the mindset of "what's gonna happen next?" and just laugh these things off.
Hopefully some of y'all can laugh with me. Also, happy to report that, without too much extra drama, they will be dancing to What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong instead, lol.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
You are being a bit absurd about this. There is a high chance that his mom didn't pore over the lyrics with a fine-toothed comb as you have done. For example, you are the sunshine of my life is a nice sentiment and perhaps how she feels about her child. It is just not as deep as the two of you are making it out to be.
aesopsfuzzysocks OP:
I hear you and for just about any other situation - would not have thought too hard about this (my dad and I are dancing to something more unconventional too). But this is also the same woman who wanted for us to go on a cruise with her for our honeymoon with connecting rooms .
In that case, I still don't know why you are fixating on the song. The song is the least of your problems.
I don’t know why people are being so hard on you. If she’s a pain in the rear,, you have every right to make fun of her for choosing the infamous Lion King song to the mother/son dance.
aesopsfuzzysocks OP:
Thank you, I appreciate it lol. I genuinely didn't expect such a strong response since I just thought that it was more funny than anything.
At least your future husband is being normal about it. I went to a wedding where the groom used chat gpt to write and perform a song for him to dance with his mom to. Lyrics were about how his mom was his first love and obsession. Absolutely creepy lol.
Two months later, OP returned with an update.
Hi everyone! I made a lighthearted post a little while back about my MIL's interesting choices for the Groom/Mother dance at our reception. It had gotten a little bit of attention/a couple people asked me for an update - so I wanted to share how it all went at the actual wedding.
As a quick reminder, my MIL has a bit of a questionable attachment to my husband. He's her miracle baby (her words), only child, and only boy in the family... so you might get the picture.
Hence the real icky tones to most of the songs she originally picked out. My husband had already been dreading this part of the wedding and had worked out a hand signal with the DJ to indicate if he (husband) wanted to end the song early.
You're probably thinking 'why not skip it then?' and please believe me, if he had - she would have lost her mind (she was already being volatile over other things). I supported him either way, but he ultimately made the decision to just go through with it. In hindsight, he probably shouldn't have.
The woman spent the entire dance with her hand on his butt - repeatedly patting, holding her hand against, and even full-on grabbing it. It was absurd. To the point, my husband started trying to signal to the DJ to end the song, not even 30 seconds in.
I checked in with my husband immediately afterwards to make sure he was okay; he was alright - a bit angry, a bit embarrassed - but he decided to let it go as to not affect the rest of the wedding. Luckily he is able to lightheartedly talk about it now when people bring it up... because yes, people noticed. A lot of them.
So folks, learn from us. If you don't want to do a parent dance... just don't. Even if your spouse is opting to do one with their parent. Go with your gut.
ETA: The song they danced to ended up being What a Wonderful World, Louis Armstrong.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Wow. I'm gobsmacked. Serious lack of sense, decorum, boundaries, you name it!!! I think I'd do a special montage of her grabbing his butt in photos and film and send it to her. Ask your friends to send them to you. Start thinking of titles: But, the Butt. My Boy's Butt. Etc.
aesopsfuzzysocks OP:
We do have a picture a friend sent me of my fave while watching the dance that is pretty funny (think 😬🥴🤢) She also had her phone out, holding it in her outstretched arm so it reached middle of the aisle, during our entire ceremony. Couldn’t even put it down to actually clap for us during the first kiss. A friend of ours photoshopped a rubber chicken in her hand.
She made a fool of herself in front of everyone that was there. How can any adult not realize how inappropriate they are with their own grown child? Be careful with her around any children you might have.
So your MIL groped her son in front of everyone attending the wedding. Got it. He’s not laughing about it he’s learned to cope. I hope he talks to a professional about his relationship with his creepy mother so he can have clear perspective about it.
aesopsfuzzysocks OP:
He's been in counseling solo to deal with many things and we did couples counseling specifically to learn how to handle her/her behavior/be a united team when situations arise/how I can be supportive. We've unpacked this together as well as him alone since the wedding, which is why he's able to cope with it in the way he has.
Wow, she really made a fool of herself and showed everyone exactly how little she respects boundaries. At least now everyone knows who the problem is going forward.