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MIL drops the truth about wife not being her 'real' daughter. + Wife Post

MIL drops the truth about wife not being her 'real' daughter. + Wife Post

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"AIW for refusing to help my mother in-law after she drop the truth about my wife."

Throwaway_Mags30

My (30F) wife previously made a post regarding the situation and my problem comes to what happened later.

To summarize, my mother in-law revealed that my wife Vick (27F) is not her real daughter and that her aunt is the real mother.

She is taken by them legally because her grandmother doesn't approve aunt having my wife back then at a young age (18 at the time) and they only agreed to get an inheritance out of her.

This angers Vick that it led to a fight, which I restrained her. She accidentally lashed out on me. I forgive her for that, but I still feel guilty of convincing her to go. While things went alright after, my mother in-law keeps harassing me.

Recently today I got visited from the office by mother in-law regarding Vick, asking reconciliation. I told her I can't help her. It got to the point that she calls me hurtful things and when she asked again, I told her I can't help her.

She then attacked me, blaming me for her relationship with Vick. That ended with me getting scratched in the face. A security guard in the office soon appeared and took her away. After I went back, my colleague who overheard the shouting told me that I'm wrong for not helping her.

It's late now and I'm kind of afraid to go home. Not because Vick will know, but it's what she is gonna do. The thing is, Vick is still angry with her for that revelations and want to k!(( her.

I'm trying to be by her side and don't want her to do anything rash. I still thought about my colleague words and I couldn't help feeling responsible for it. AIW for refusing to be involved?

UPDATE:

I decided to come home. Vick greeted me and notice the scratch and asked what happened. I tell her what happened and she hug me. I can tell she is angry and I'm keeping a distance to myself so she won't snap like what happened before.

Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's post:

Knickers1978

It’s better to protect your wife and her wishes.

But the post you linked to is unreadable. NTA.

The OP responded here:

Throwaway_Mags30

Vick doesn't wanna talk to her, but If I came home, I know that she will come after her. This is not the first time she asked me to help her. This time, I was alone.

And regarding the post, I think the person that archived it typed it in their comment.

SamuelVimesTrained

I get that Vick lashed out - not exactly something easy to process - and high emotions.
Good you understood that. Now - this MIL (or is she?) came to YOUR PLACE OF WORK? Boundary violation much? Is she trying to get you fired or what?

And, for her and this coworker (and this is why she should not have come there!) - HOW can you help. Point a gun at Vick 'make up or else' ? This is what SHE needs to work out and HER timing here is leading - not that of MIL or anyone else. NOT WRONG.

The OP again responded here:

Throwaway_Mags30

Thank you. This is not the first time she came at me for help to talk to Vick on forgiving her. She first came at our place, but when Vick saw her, she order her to leave and threaten to kill her. She only did this in my office now because Vick is not around.

AttentionIcy6874

You need to support your wife and not support your fake MIL. No matter how much she begs you to help her. If you side with her in this situation, you could lose your wife. She needs your support right now.

If your MIL shows up at your work again, call the police and get her trespassed, and get a restraining order against her. And any contact that you have with her, you have to tell your wife about.

If she thinks you are hiding something from her, she will lose trust in you. She is going through so much right now and really needs to know that she can lean on you for support. Hang in there.

Again the OP responded:

Throwaway_Mags30

Thank you. I'm currently at home with Vick right now and she is worried about the scratches. I'm also worried of what she is gonna do, since this is not her first time trying to talk Vick through me.

IceBlue

Your colleague is wrong. Your job as a husband is to side with your wife here. Siding with the MIL would only alienate your wife. How does that help anyone?

The OP responded:

Throwaway_Mags30

I'm currently not picking sides. I'm just trying to stay neutral. I just worried about what Vick is gonna do. I love her, but MIL won't leave me alone since then.

Kiki9313

You're NTA. No one but Vick can reconcile with her 'mom' and she clearly doesn't want that. What good does it to push her? Will it make her want to suddenly reconcile? Will it be good for your marriage if you insert yourself (again)? Will it be good for others if they insert themselves (where they really don't belong)?

Will it be good for Vick if she let's her 'mom' back in her life (especially since she is pushing so hard on all fronts instead of letting everything settle and cool off)? If the answer to these things is no than that's all there is to it.

If the 'mom' can't live with that than that's her problem. Not yours, not Vicks. Actions have consequences and these are her consequences. I'm not even sure why she pushes so hard for reconciliation since she already had the inheritance that she wanted?

Your coworker gets to butt out no matter what they think because it's not their live but yours und especially Vicks life and as such EVERYONE has to live with what VICK DESIDES!

Your attempt the first time was forgiven (as was Vicks, I'm happy that you could work through it) but the next time it could be irreparable since you now are on a completely different chapter. You know what the fall out will look like, you've been there. Why go back to it with the real possibility that you CAN'T COME BACK FROM IT.

Do yourself a favor and, if possible, tell your work that you're mother in law isn't allowed to be let through to you and get a restraining order against her. If she contacts you mute her, not block, and gather evidence against her to help your case.

You are Vicks spouse and as such need to have her back and no one else. Be there for her and accept her decision and enforce them for her. That's what you are supposed to do and nothing else. Coworkers and crazy wanna be moms be damned!!

So, if you could give the OP any advice here, what would you say?

Sources: Reddit,Reddit
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