New mother accused of infidelity; calls the police on pastor and MIL. AITA?
The birth of your child is suppose to be one of the most joyful days of your life.
One woman was faced with a shocking reaction when her child was born. The event created a snowball effect, involving a pastor, police and a paternity test, unraveling her life as she knew it.
"AITA for calling the police on my STBex-MIL?"
Editor's note: STBex = Soon To Be Ex.
I (27F) split from my STBex-husband (27M) three months ago on the day our son was born. This is because I am ginger, my husband is blonde but our baby came out with dark hair. He freaked out in the delivery room and his behavior got him kicked out the hospital.
I had to beg him to do a paternity test and he finally agreed after a month, and it proved that I didn't cheat. We had been together since we were 13 so I was devastated and all I wanted was him back.
But I've come to my senses and decided that someone who believes that school level punnet squares are the be all and end all of biological inheritance is not the type of person I wanna be with.
I was also treated like crap by everyone but my older brother, Alex, while we were waiting for the results because they all thought I had cheated. It was a horrible experience and as a result, I've lost many friends and family members.
Since the results came back, my ex has been begging me to get back with him. I moved in with Alex after we split, and he comes almost everyday to beg me to get back with him.
My in laws have also been harassing me too, especially my MIL who has come over four times in the past week asking me to forgive her son and to 'let God back into my heart'.
I used to be a Christian and so are all my in laws and my family, but how I was treated when my baby was born made me lose faith fast. The whole church community treated me like trash during this whole ordeal and it made me want nothing to do with them anymore and I don't want to raise my son in that sort of community.
Yesterday, my MIL turned up to Alex's when he wasn't here, and she had the pastor from the church I used to attend with them. They practically forced their way in, and I was being berated like a child for not forgiving my ex's 'lapse in judgment'.
The pastor basically sat there and said I would be going to hell if I didn't take my ex back. I excused myself to use the bathroom, and called the police. Pastor and MIL were escorted out.
Now, I'm being harassed on social media and being called and texted by literally everyone that knows both me and my ex and his family. They're calling me the AH for going nuclear and calling the police on two people who weren't being threatening and they're demanding that I apologize immediately.
I'm starting to feel bad now because I know they care in their own twisted way and I shouldn't have gone nuclear on them. AITA?
Here are some of the top comments this post received:
Odd no one has heard children are often born with different colored hair. I’m blonde and my ex was blonde as a child. Our son was born with almost black hair, then it slowly lightened up to almost white, he was a total toe-head and is still dark blond in his mid 20s.
There was never a question about his paternity regardless. These people are ridiculous and I’d cut them all out of my life, focus on my new baby and move on. In case anyone wondered. You don’t go to hell for not taking an ex-AH back either! Screw them!
Ya know what? Social media is vastly overrated. Why don’t you take a break from it for a week or a year or two? And mute your phone. Nobody is saying anything new.
Your husband and his community of flying monkeys treated you abominably. Thank god for DNA tests to prove you aren’t a cheater. By their actions, they all showed their butts. You don’t have to accept their demand that you get over it and forgive them.
Your loving husband may say he is sorry… now. But take him to court and make him sorry. Best of luck. NTA
Make sure to document EVERYTHING he and his family have been doing to you. It should all go before the court -- it'll make a difference in what they give you as a parenting plan. Filing for an order of protection against all of them (the ex, the mother and the pastor) would be wise as well.
And if they try to show up and berate you again, take out your phone and videotape everything they say or do. Very visibly. If they know that videotape will go in front of the court, they may change their minds about what they were planning to say.
Sounds like she's escaping hell rather than heading to it. Thank goodness they all showed who they really were right away. Now she won't waste years of her bright and beautiful future. And congratulations on your new wee bairn. NTA op!
NTA. There's no hate like christian love. The sooner you get away from this circus the better. Don't apologise, don't look back. They are not worth your time. You did nothing wrong at all whatsoever, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
NTA. Ask the pastor and your MIL if they harassed the father and told him to forgive you for your ‘lapse in judgement’ when they all thought you cheated. If they didn’t, then they’re hypocrites.
Out of sheer selfish curiosity, if you could get him to cut ties with his family & church, would you take your husband back? He betrayed you in spectacular fashion, but most of your post is about his family and church community.
The OP responded:
Never. I'd rather drink bleach than be with that idiot again