Woman's BF gets mad at her for speaking Polish to their son, 'I can't understand you.'
It's light years easier to speak multiple languages if they're spoken to you as a small child, versus tackling them in a classroom as an adult. As babies, our brains are essentially playdoh, constantly absorbing new information and building pathways and patterns out of them.
So when a couple speaks multiple languages, it makes sense to teach the child both languages from the jump. At least, you'd think it makes sense, but not all couples agree.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for speaking Polish to her baby even though her boyfriend didn't approve.
She wrote:
AITA for speaking to my child in Polish even though my boyfriend asked me not to?
I (21f) have been dating my boyfriend (26m) for three years now, and we have a son who is 13 months old. Not too long ago, my son said his first word and I decided that now might be a good time for me to teach him Polish as an addition to English. For the past few days, I have been speaking in Polish to him. I know he won't learn it straight away, but in a few years, he might be fluent.
However, when my boyfriend saw me saying Polish words to him, he said that I should stop. I asked him why, and he said it would be unfair if we could communicate with each other in a language he couldn't understand. He even said Polish wasn't a useful language to learn, like Spanish or French.
I acknowledged this, but I have continued to do it even though my boyfriend has asked me to stop. I feel guilty, but I do want to share my first language with my child. I also feel hurt that he doesn't care about my language. AITA?
People didn't hold back one bit.
CrystalQueen3000 wrote:
NTA.
'He said it would be unfair if we could communicate with each other in a language he couldn’t understand.'
Then he better hurry up and learn Polish then.
Mean_Suit_9222 wrote:
NTA. Your BF is though.
There's no downside for a kid to learn a new language, specially when they learn it from birth.
d3lphx wrote:
NTA, besides the advantage of being bilingual, research has shown that learning new languages becomes easier the more languages you know. Plus it would be the perfect opportunity to learn at least some basic polish for your bf. Aren’t there any Polish in-laws he needs to impress with a basic dominion of the language?
And finally, it sounds like you are proud of your heritage. You have a right to be so and should pass it on to your child.
Klingon80 wrote:
NTA. Your child had two parents, and learning two languages at that young age is INCREDIBLY beneficial. Kids learn this shit at lightning speed compared to adults. I work with a dozen folks who were born to native Spanish-speaking parents.
They learned both languages quite easily as children. Your child should be exposed to both languages and cultures. Maybe it's time for your boyfriend to start learning Polish too.
is_it_wicked wrote:
NTA.
Your BF is an insecure AH. Being multilingual is a huge asset, but requires buy-in from all involved. Hey, and if your BF is not a baby, maybe he could learn Polish too?
OP is definitely NTA, but there are some major red flags coming from her BF.