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Man doesn't get wife Mother's Day present because 'watching the kids' was 'the gift'.

Man doesn't get wife Mother's Day present because 'watching the kids' was 'the gift'.


A confused and frustrated man bravely came to Reddit to ask:

'AITA (Am I the A-hole) for not getting my wife anything on Mother’s Day?'

oakcool writes:

I (34m) did not buy or get anything for my wife on Mother’s Day and let me explain why.

(Great start)

My wife and her friend planned a trip to the beach for four days which fell on Mothers Day. So, I thought to myself that since I’m watching the kids while she’s gone that would count as a gift -

(Oh boy)

- since she wouldn’t be here to celebrate that day and would get home that night on Mother’s Day.

She gets home and realizes that I didn’t do anything for her and later tells me that she is upset and message was received loud and clear.

I tried to explain my reasoning and thought process but she didn’t agree. So AITA (am I the a-hole)?

Here's what Reddit had to say to this man...

Shuoinked says:

So you did your actual job as a husband for one single day and watched the kids while she went out and thought it was such a marvelous gift..... yeah, YTA (you're the a-hole).

OP defends himself:

She was gone for four days.

cole00cash asks:

INFO - Did you pay for her four day weekend trip? If you did then you're not TA. If she paid for it for herself then you might be TA. It sounds like you consider taking care of your children as a gift given to your wife. Is that the case? On father's day are you expected to be home and present with your children or do you also leave your family for a long weekend with one of your friends?

OP answers:

I didn’t not pay. We both work full time jobs and have separate bank accounts so she paid for her trip. I consider it a gift because we usually split 50/50 with kids and house duties. I’m usually home on Father’s Day bc I’m a home body type person.

Madam_Bastet comments:

'Parenting my own kids is a gift' is enough to make my vote be YTA.. she likely meant 'why didn't you help the kids get/make me something?' more so than you, yourself doing it.. but no, being a parent isn't a gift. It's kinda like saying 'oh I babysat my kids for my wife, why doesn't she appreciate that?'..

danielle123-456 disagrees:

NTA (Not the a-hole). 1) She’s not your mother. 2.) She choose to be away from her family and instead be with a friend. 3.) I agree with everyone that taking care of your children is your job as a parent. But agreeing with taking care alone for four days while your wife is away with a friend seems like a small gift to me actually.

I feel like Mother’s Day is not about real gifts, but about the small things kids make. As a partner it’s nice to help when the kids are too young. But preparing breakfast seems prefect, and she wasn’t there. What age are the kids? Did they make something for her or had their own gift?

OP responds:

I messed up and didn’t have the kids get her something like flowers and a card. I take full responsibility for that.

From PhilosopherEmpty2558:

Unpopular opinion - but NTA. As a mom of three little ones under five, handling kids on your own while the other parent is on a trip is in a sort a gift of it’s own. That being said, if your wife’s love language is gifts and knowing that you didn’t buy her any flowers, I can get why she would be mad.

Looks like the internet is divided on this one!

What do YOU think?

Sources: Reddit
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