'AITA for grounding my 11yo daughter for a month after she cost me my job?'
"AITA for grounding my 11yo daughter for a month after she cost me my job?"
I'm 34 weeks pregnant and don't have a normal 9-5. I was put on bed rest but that was lifted as of a month ago, so I started dog sitting as a source of income. I had a 'client' who would drop her pup off at 7:30am and pick her back up anywhere from 8-9pm.
I wasn't even getting paid a lot, honestly, but it gave me a sense of purpose almost- versus just sitting here feeling utterly useless because I didn't have my own money and had to rely on my husband.
So I only got like maybe $150. We don't even really need an extra income for myself but again, it just made me feel better rather than just sitting home.
My daughter can be a bit self absorbed and only think of herself and her gain a lot of the time. She asked me yesterday if she could start up her own dog walking company and I brushed off the idea because I'm not having my 11yo walking the streets with dogs.
I don't feel it's safe and I physically cannot go with her as of currently. So I said no. She was angry with me.
When my client came to pick up her pup last night, my daughter came down and told her that she should stop paying me to watch the dog and pay her $1 a day because she would 'do a better job' and said 'I have the dog all day every day. My mom doesn't do anything.'
This is a bold faced lie. She walked her once yesterday and the rest of the time, I had the pup.
I did correct my daughter at that point and say 'no, you didn't. I had her all day and you walked her once' but apparently it made no difference, as my client texted me that night and said 'I think we will be finding another dog sitter for the time being, as I find what your daughter said to be concerning and I just need to make sure that my pup is getting the best care. I hope you understand.'
I immediately went to my daughter's room and told her she was grounded for a month because she cost me my job. I took all her electronics from her and it means she will not be able to attend a friend's party next week.
She cried and told me she didn't mean to but this isn't the first time she's done something to jeopardize things for me and her father for her own gain and certainly not the first time she's been spoken to about it either.
My husband is saying maybe I pushed it too far and that grounding her seems 'extreme'. However, my daughter was fully aware that this income made me feel good about myself for the first time during this pregnancy and she just knowingly ruined it for me, simply because she wanted to make $1 a day. AITA?
ETA: to answer a few repeated statements- I did not let her walk the dog on the street. I was already outdoors with the pup and she came out and asked to walk her around the house.
She never left my yard and as I stated, it was once that she walked her. As for the money issue: she makes on the ups of $40 a week already with allowance for doing chores. Her father has made a dedicated 'chore and allowance' chart for her.
The more chores she does, she more money she gets. She has over $900 saved up already. The issue at hand is the fact that she has become fixated on money and will do anything she can to make a quick buck, even if that means walking all over people to do so.
She does not spend any of her money. She insists on saving every penny she makes and has said numerous times 'I'm going to be the richest one in the family'. Her fixation on making money in any way possible has led to her knowingly costing me my job for her own gain.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
me0mio
NTA. Your daughter needs to know that actions have consequences. I would also tell her next time [and into the foreseeable future] she asks for you to buy anything 'No. Now that I'm not making any money, we can't afford it.'
UnquantifiableLife
Nope NTA. She clearly needs to learn.
You might want to think about therapy if you feel she's becoming a habitual liar.
The OP responded here:
That_Charity_9330
She did start therapy as of last year for doing similar things in school when it came to teachers and peers. However, it was only school therapy. Outside resources is absolutely something I will need to look in to if this behavior continues.
LtColShinySides
NTA. Actions have consequences. Your daughter isn't a toddler. She's old enough to know that saying something like that is not ok.
Also, your former client needs to get a grip. They were paying someone a pittance for full-time dog care. If they wanted 'the best', they'd be taking them to a professional doggy daycare. (Not trying to bash you, I'm sure you're great with dogs)
Funseas
The former client was finding a socially acceptable way of saying that getting in the middle of OP’s family craziness wasn’t worth the dog care, particularly when the daughter might not have been lying. That’s a fair decision for a client to make.
CrabbiestAsp
NTA. You definitely need to get her behaviour under control now. What she did is unacceptable.
Scared-Accountant288
NTA.... what your daughter did was malicious. Shes old enough to know better. Ask her what she wants the money for because she doesnt pay any bills in your house. But yea... id be p*$sed.
The OP again responded here:
That_Charity_9330
Well, that's another thing in itself. She does have money. Her dad pays her an allowance for chores completed, which usually comes to about $40 a week, depending (she doesn't get her allowance if she doesn't complete her chores).
Right now she has well over $900 saved up. With that said, it's made her money hungry, in a sense of constantly trying to find ways to make money. Which isn't exactly a bad trait but it has made her jump to things like she did in the post- walking on people to get money in any way possible.