'Loud' neighbors demand man stop smoking on his property bc they 'don't feel safe'.

Just because something is legal doesn't necessarily make it appropriate...

When a young man was threatened with police action and the HOA, he came to Reddit to see if he was actually doing anything wrong. His crime? Read below.

'AITA (Am I the A-hole) for smoking weed on my deck?'

u/DAMNihbs writes:

I (m24) live next to this couple with two kids. My deck is pretty close to their backyard and it’s started to become an issue.

I sometimes smoke weed after I get home from work to unwind and to deal with some anxiety. My neighbors have started to complain to me about it.

A month ago the husband knocked on my door and told me to stop doing it on my deck. I told him it’s quite literally the only place I can do it.

He then told me he doesn’t feel safe letting his kids play in the backyard until I stop smoking, and that he doesn’t want his kids to play in the backyard if he catches a whiff of it.

I said sorry, but I won’t stop and that I’m well within my rights to do it. I told him I’ll avoid smoking if I see his kids outside. I also said I don’t complain when him and his friends drink in their backyard and get loud at really late hours.

He threatened to get the police involved, and I invited him to do so because like I said I was well within my rights to.

He ended up filing a complaint with the HOA and they sided with me and told him that it’s perfectly legal to do.

His wife came up to my house yesterday and kindly asked me to stop and said it drives him nuts when he looks out the window and sees me do it. I told her I’m really sorry but it’s none of his business.

I feel bad that what I’m doing is driving him nuts but feel like I am doing nothing wrong. AITA (Am I the a-hole)?

So, who's the jerk here? Everyone has a right to enjoy themselve and feel safe in their home... so who's preventing that from happening?

Reddit had very strong feelings on the matter, sparking a passionate thread of disagreements.

qlt_ml_01 says:

YTA (You're the a-hole). Many people choose not to smoke. Weed is worse the cigars, cigarettes etc. if you like it do it in the privacy of your own home. Renter? Then you are screwed. Your “ right” to get high is not greater than my right not to. Be a respectful adult.

OP responds:

Sorry for getting you high with my bong that’s 20 yards away.

kgfPatsfan2 writes:

NAH (No a-holes) here. It is reasonable to want to protect your children from exposure to smoke. It is understandable if you don't want the stench to accumulate in your home, and choose to smoke outside where the smell will (eventually) dissipate. It is hypocritical of your neighbor to care only about this, but expose his children to other neighbors smoking tobacco, and his guests drinking. IF he does.

As someone who has a strong physical reaction to smoke and an even stronger emotional one after decades of my family simply not caring and continuing to smoke around me, I miss the days when smoking pot was done privately where other people wouldn't know.

You could try some creative problem solving so your relationship improves. Get a privacy screen on your deck. Get a fan and send the smoke in a different direction. Communicate with your neighbors and look for a compromise, not because either of you is right or wrong, but because you live next to each other and inevitably will impact each other's lives.

schoobydoo42 comments:

NTA (Not the a-hole) because you're doing it on your own deck, but I gotta say it's still annoying to me when weed smokers think that their smoke doesn't matter because it's weed. If I had a neighbor who was smoking cigarettes on their porch every day and I could smell it, of course it'd be their right to do so, but I'd still be annoyed and grossed out.

OP adds:

We have neighbors who smoke cigarettes and go as far as to litter the butts on our lawns but no one ever complains about that.

notmappedout doesn't understand all the haters:

NTA, it's so silly that people still get bent out of shape over smelling a little weed in 2023. To me, it's on par with people clutching pearls because someone swears around kids. It's incredibly silly.

GoblinandBeast agrees:

NTA - Unless you are blowing the smoke directly into his children's faces the neighbors don't have anything to worry about. And as you said, you are well within your rights.

What do you think?

Is OP being perfectly reasonable by agreeing not to do it while the kids are outside? Or should the world revolve around the mad daddy who doesn't like it?