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Woman eats neighbor's cupcake gift, learns what 'hangry' really looks like. AITA?

Woman eats neighbor's cupcake gift, learns what 'hangry' really looks like. AITA?


I've heard of neighbors asking to borrow a cup of sugar, but a cup of cakes?

Terrible joke, but this whole story sort of like an episode of 'Seinfeld.' One woman was house sitting when the next door neighbor's Mother's Day gift was delivered to the house where she was staying. She feels justified in eating the delicious treats meant for the neighboring mom but when the neighbor returned, she received a major mom meltdown. Now, she is wondering if she was wrong.

AITA for eating the neighbour's cupcakes


Context: I am a 26(f) and I have been house/cat sitting for my best friend for the past week. I used to live in this house with them 2020-2022 so I know the neighbour (f in 60s)they share a driveway with.

So on my second day of cat sitting it was Mother's day and I had been out for a few appointments. As I reach the door there is a note wedged in the door frame. I open it and it says the neighbour's daughter had sent a gift for Mother's day but neighbour is away.

The note writer had come round to find it but they couldn't get past the gate and couldn't see it. They asked if I could keep an eye out for it and wrote 'at least you could eat them if you find them'.

I walked down the drive and sure enough a gift bag was hanging from the locked gate. With flowers, a card and a box of four cupcakes. I brought them in, and took a picture of the note and gift and sent it to my friend who owns the house. She says lucky you.

At first I feel a bit weird and think oh I will leave them and then the next day I think, I don't know how long the neighbour is gone for, it would be bad if they go stale and go to waste and the note said to eat them so I ate them.

That week I am really busy with work and gym classes so I am leaving the house around 7am and not back until at least 8pm. When I do, I see that her car is back later that week it is at one of these awkward times.

On Saturday the neighbour comes by asking if I had seen the parcel her daughter had sent. I said yes, I have it and I show her the week old flowers, card and the note someone had left. She read it and said it was her sister-in-law. I mentioned that it was just the flowers and card as the cupcakes were now gone and gestured to the note saying to eat them.

The next evening the neighbour came round saying she wanted to clear the air. She then proceeded to tell me that she thought it was deplorable behaviour and it didn't sit right with her that I had eaten the cupcakes and she saw it as stealing. I should have text her and should have frozen the cupcakes so they would be saved for her.

She said I should have called her sister-in-law who left the note, when I said I couldn't because I didn't have her number, she said it was on the note (I checked the picture I had of the note it wasn't).

I said I did feel bad but the note had said to eat them and I had been very busy I hadn't been able to get down to her. She said that I could see when her car was there and I should have gone. She kept turning back to saying that it was horrible behaviour, I was stealing and it crossed a line. I apologised profusely.

As soon as she left I burst into tears I felt so awful.

I understand she is upset that she didn't get the full gift her daughter intended for her... but I feel like it was a bit harsh to say that I stole from her when I had written permission to eat the cupcakes. So, AITA?

The OP then added:


I couldn't add it before because the post was too long But if it helps clear things up, the note was not attached to the present. It was wedged in the house I was staying at's doorway.


'No. 32a Neighbour is away and has been told that neighbour's daughter has sent a couple of cakes for Mother's Day. We can't get into neighbour's place and see no sign of delivery to #32. Would you mind keeping an eye out for them? At least you could eat them if you find them!! Many thanks - 'Note writers name''

Here were the top comments in response to the OP's post:


NAH. There are hundreds of different scenarios that may have changed the outcome of this situation. However, none of those things happened. It happened the way it did & these were the unintended consequences. Both you & the neighbor’s had your feelings hurt.

Unfortunate situation but neither of you did anything wrong. If there’s any blame to be had it’s on the daughter who decided to leave the package when her Mom was away.

eta — if you want to maintain a good relationship, give the neighbor some cupcakes.


OP is the a**hole, though the neighbor was a bit harsh. As a matter of course, you shouldn’t take or consume packages sent to neighbors without confirming with them that doing so is okay, either with the sender or the recipient.

The “you can eat them” was a note meant for the neighbor, not for you. Permission was not being extended to you. Your best friend also should have known better, and she didn’t have license to give you permission to do that either.

It’s also rough that it’s not just a delivery, but a Mother’s Day gift. There’s probably some sentiment attached. It’s good that you apologized; sending some flowers with an apology note wouldn’t be out of line either.


NTA, the note was a clear permission to eat for the finder, and I have never ever in my life seen a cupcake in a freezer, nor expected any stranger to freeze food for me without request/instruction to do so.


You took a delivery of flowers and food and kept them for a week without trying to give them to the person they were for? What are 'awkward times?' Would you have given them to the recipient at all if they hadn't come and asked?

Imagine thinking you were forgotten on mother's day while the housesitter next door was eating your cupcakes and watching your flowers start to wilt. YTA.


Nta. You the note said you could est them. The neighbour is the A h and her SIL for putting you in the position to be responsible for this gift. They expected you to find it take it in babysit it then deliver it? Like it's your job to drop your life to run this crap over the moment it was convenient for her.

No good deed goes unpunished. Next time leave her sh*t outside to get wet and rot. 'Sorry id hate to ge accused of being a thief and don't want to be tempted by your 24k platinum cupcakes and other valuables.'

So, do you think this house sitter owe's the neighbor a sweet apology?

Sources: Reddit
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