'AITA for allowing my nieces to eat certain foods and not warning my sister?"
"AITA for allowing my nieces to eat certain foods and not warning my sister?"
So this week in the UK has been half term week, a week where children have off school halfway through a term. I (M26) am no stranger with looking after my 8 year old twin nieces however my sister (F33) usually provides some form of notice...
...if I need to watch them for a bit, even a couple of emergency times were usually met with at least like 15 to 20 minutes notice however on Tuesday morning my sister drops them off at my flat without any notice whatsoever, just that she was "out."
I work 4 days on, 4 days off, 12 hour shifts and Tuesday was the first of my four days off. Usually, I spend the first day of my four off exhausted from the previous days of work. I didn't have a lot of food in the house at that point (I was having a supermarket shop delivered in the evening).
I went to the small shop by where my flat is and got bread to make toast for my nieces and I (they hadn't had breakfast yet) and two pizzas, the shop had a 2 for 1 price on oven pizzas. I got one plain pizza/cheese pizza and one pepperoni.
It was then my sister texted that she'd hop back at 6:15 to 6:30pm to collect her children so had enough food to cover for them (I had a couple of things they could have for snacks in the meantime should they want).
My sister towards November time last year met a new partner, she seems happy with him (M32 or 31 coming on 32)). Her new partner is a vegan and she's started to adopt that vegan lifestyle, quite full on but that's her choice. However, regarding her children...
I did ask her this at Christmas time just gone and she said that at home it's a vegan first style but at school or round friends houses she'll allow them to eat non vegan friendly foods.
I assumed that policy would also fit with me when I had to look after them. I cooked both pizzas, I gave them the plain pizza and left the other one, the pepperoni one for me to pick/graze at but if they had some I wouldn't stop them and that's what happened.
When my sister came back to collect her kids, she saw the boxes in the bin and asked, her nieces said yes that's what they had. My sister was quite cross with me and said that I should've consulted her if this could happen. I did mention that she allowed them to eat non vegan food at school and stuff but she doubled down about how that's different and she has prior notice.
I mentioned that I had zero notice and my sister said that family watching family is different than pre arranged school routines. I don't know. They've only been on their mum's vegan first beliefs for three months. If it helps, my nieces mentioned nothing about veganism or vegan food whatsoever, they seemed happy and content when I bought the food and when I cooked it.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Individual_Ad_9213 said:
NTA. Tell your sister that, in the future, you will consult with her about food for her kids when she consults with you before dropping them off and, better yet when she leaves their food for you to prepare. You did her a solid favor; it's not your fault that her children aren't vegan.
Treehugger365247 said:
NTA. What Wait?! Two children were dropped off at your house, without a 2-3 day notice, after you worked multiple 12-hour shifts in a row, and they are not your children? First you get an award for answering the door. Second, You fed them They were happy. They didn’t get sick. Third, Since when do non-vegans keep vegan meals ready? For me to feed a vegan a well balanced meal, I would need to prepare.
Existing_Sky_7969 said:
NTA and maybe I’m looking too into this, but she meets a man and starts to convert her and her children’s lifestyle to his? Damn. People move fast.
PuzzleheadedTerm5182 said:
NTA. If she wants the girls to have specific foods when you’ve had zero advance notice of their arrival, she should bring their approved foods.
LadyHorseFace13 said:
NTA. Your sister is for a variety of reasons. The first being making her children adapt to her new boyfriends meal plan. Second for dropping them to you with no notice, no food, no money for food. Third for not notifying you about dietary restrictions, no matter how ridiculous they are.
NoAppointment3062 said:
NTA. This was last minute. If you yourself aren't vegan you're not going to have a lot of things on hand to make a satisfying and nutritious vegan meal that is also kid friendly.
Poppet_CA said:
NTA. 8-year-olds are opinionated enough that if they wanted to be vegan they'd let you know. At least mine sure were.
crumpledspoon said:
NTA. She dropped them off without advance notice, and had previously said it was ok for them to eat non-vegan outside the house. If that changed, she had the responsibility to both inform you, and to provide the necessary food or money to purchase something specific she approved of...
Since it would be unreasonable to expect you to know what to feed them on such short notice. She doesn't get to drop them off without any word of the change or any food, and then get upset with you for not reading her mind.