'My long-term boyfriend proposed, but did the one thing I asked him not to do...'
"My long-term boyfriend proposed, but did the one thing I asked him not to do..."
I have been dating my now fiancé for 9 years. Over the last year or two, I have told him that when he proposes I want it to be just us two and maybe a photographer or friend to help set something up if need be. No family.
When he proposed, my entire immediate family and his entire immediate family was there. I never asked for a big ring, a big ordeal, I just wanted it to be us so I can express myself freely without a ton of eyes on me.
I'm so beyond happy we are engaged, it's been a long time coming and I'm over the moon. apparently when he told his 2 sisters whom he's extremely close with that he was proposing they told him they just had to be there, and he obliged along with our whole families.
I just can't shake the fact that I asked it to be only us many times and everyone was there. Again, I'm ecstatic but a part of me is let down and kinda sad because I just wanted one thing. I wanna bring it up to him once more and express how it upsets me but I don't want to upset him because it was well thought out and I'm so happy. I'm in such a bind.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
coffee_cake_x said:
What he should have done was tell his sisters “no." I wonder if there have been other times he’s put what other people want before what you want, or otherwise ignored your wishes, but it’s just that this was so important that you couldn’t ignore it this time.
Because you were literally the only person he needed to impress/make happy here, and he couldn’t even manage that. This was supposed to be about you. Him too, obviously, but it was coming from him, to you, and he said “I’m not going to give you the one thing you asked of me, marry me about it.”
Shieya said:
Is his family going to trump your wishes every time one of them gets excited about something?
robotangst said:
Girl, you’ve been together for nine years, you’re ENGAGED, and you still feel like you can’t talk to him about this? Communicate with your partner!
imtchogirl said:
Yeah you have to talk to him. You can say, hey, I love that we're engaged and you mean the world to me. Can we talk about the proposal a bit because I think I'm confused about part of it. And then ask your questions.