"AITA for making a kid leave my wedding?"
After a long wedding day we hit the reception. Things are fine until my hubby’s cousin Anna’s kid started making a fuss about cake. Like screaming and just a huge meltdown (autistic) over not having ice cream with his cake. Like screaming. Throwing himself on the middle of the dance floor kicking his feet and he’s offered several sliced of the cake only to throw them.
The floor is a sticky mess. I was planning on doing the father daughter dance right after this. I’m almost in tears at this point and thank god my sister and MOH and my mother had enough of this and told Anna and her son they needed to go.
Anna and her son refused to leave and the boy started acting worse to where my sister gets pissed off and told her to leave or the police will be called. That’s not an empty threat from my sis because her FIL is a cop.
Anna leaves but we are now like an hour behind schedule because of a meltdown over ice cream. I’m not feeling any and leaving without the rest of the dances. The DJ plays for his schedule time but no one is feeling it after the kids meltdown.
New hubby gets a call on our honeymoon and his family (grandma, aunt, cousins) now want all of the wedding gifts back because my family decided to bully an autistic child who was allowed to throw a fit in the middle of the dance floor for an hour. AITA?
OP added this reason for why she may be the AH:
I might be an asshole because I’m not showing sympathy for an autistic child and I’m refusing to give our gifts back.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
sleepsand writes:
NTA as an autistic person I feel STRONGLY about this. The kid didn’t have a meltdown bc of ice cream it was the thing that broke the camel’s back bc a wedding is almost guaranteed to cause over stimulation which leads more often than not into a meltdown.
How the parent didn’t recognise this or even seem to think about how it could be a possibility- and then refusing to leave basically keeping your child in a very vulnerable state in front of a whole ass wedding party genuinely makes me angry. Either way, you handled it the best you could, definitely NTA.
bigbore7 writes:
Send all their stuff back and block them everywhere for ever. They have demonstrated by their actions they care nothing for you and hubby. Mom should certainly understand her kids needs, special or otherwise, and be prepared to deal with them whenever out in public.
No way should he have been left to continue his melt down at your event. Take him to the car or their room for him to finish his meltdown. He could always have come back after (don't know correct terminology for autism) he stabilizes and returns to acceptable behavior. NTA.
As an autistic adult with autistic kids I can say with certainty that this was a case of overstimulation building through the day and the ice cream being the thing that just tipped things. I’m so sorry your wedding day was blighted but the parent of the child is the one at fault here. NTA
I don’t believe for a second his mother didn’t know. She knew and was hoping someone would step in and take him for her so she could enjoy the reception. She was hoping for free respite care for her son. I am betting she does this a lot and probably gets the free respite care and figured it would be the same at OP’s wedding.
Yeah, poor kid. :(
(poor op, too, of course)