Bride has hardcore wedding rules for guests. Grandma says, 'I'm out.' (Rules included.)
When this bride is concerned that her wedding rules are too intense, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for my wedding rules?'
My husband and I have already eloped, and the ceremony is for our family who didn't get to see it. Excluded previously due to character limit, and I didn't think it was important, but some people beg to differ, so idk.
I have just finished my 'information' slip for my wedding- rules, food, driving directions. I made a copy for everyone attending but showed my grandma (Jess) first. She became very upset, saying it's too many rules, but when I said that most of the slip was about the food, she told me that I'm being a b*tch about the rules. This is what the slip says:
'This event is semi-formal at the church, and guests are requested to wear blue, purple, light pink, champagne, or black. Please be mindful that the reception will mostly be outside (grass), so flats/sneakers are advised to be brought as well, for your comfort' - The top line is only a request. That is the color scheme and I wanted to include it in case anyone wanted to match, but I've already told people that if they wanted to wear a bright red dress or lime green tux, I really don't care.
'No white attire, excluding shoes/accessories. Guests wearing white attire will be asked to leave or change. If a refusal is made, the guest will be escorted from the event.'
'Children are expected to behave and not interrupt the ceremony/first dance. If a child is being disruptive, please take them outside for a breather'- There is a children's area just for the kids, but if a parent wanted their child with them, this is for that parent.
'No proposals/Pregnancy announcements. Attempts will result in the guest(s) being removed from the event.”
'Plus-ones are discouraged due to the size of the brides' family, however if you would like to add someone to your invitation, please first let the bride/groom know with your party's head count' - I tried to include some humor, but she also was offended by this line. I have an enormous family, and I don't have enough money to provide food for that many people, so I only invited immediate family/close friends/and people contributing to the event.
I also invited their partners as well (For example, I'm inviting my great aunt, and her partner along with it- or another would be that I'm inviting my younger brothers, so I included their siblings and parents as well. (about 60 people total, including bridesmaids/groomsmen)
The bottom half of the slip is food/drink, mine and my husband's phone numbers, and the driving directions.
I'm considering rewording some things (I feel like I worded it badly), and maybe separating it into 1 slip each-rules, food, and driving directions. My husband and coworkers (Haven't told anyone else) are saying I should only change Jess's slip.For extra context, Jess hasn't contributed anything because I don't want her to. (She helped me out a lot with furniture/appliances when I got my first apartment, and I've just finished paying her back). AITA for my wedding rules?
Let's find out.
lovebeingadad7 writes:
YTA. The slip should read: “The wedding colors are XYZ if anyone wants to wear them. A kids play zone is being provided and wine available during the ceremony and reception. Since the venue is outside, feel free to wear comfortable shoes” Same information, not a single “rule”. Comes across much kinder.
boxerydt7 writes:
Oh dear. YTA. It’s off-putting. I know you are probably trying to cover all your bases so your wedding goes “perfectly” but the way this is worded is so harsh. I don’t think you need to explain basic conduct at a wedding, but if you really feel like you need to tell your guests what to do, make it nicer.
Ex. If you really don’t care if someone is wearing lime green, why word it like that? Try “All colours of wedding attire welcome! Efforts to wear wedding theme colours (black, champagne, purple, blue) are appreciated. Ex. “There will be a child’s play area for children who need a break from sitting quietly.” WOW OP.
narlaRT writes:
I do think the internet has kinda raised ire on a few things that are rude/inappropriate so that now people view them as borderline criminal behavior. Like you aren't supposed to wear white to weddings in some cultures -- but if someone wears a white dress to you wedding, do you have them ESCORTED OUT?
Because everyone already thought they were tacky and I promise no one is confused about who the bride was in 99% of cases. So if you go nuclear, people are far more likely to raise eyebrows at YOU.
Same with doing a big public proposal at someone else's wedding without talking to them first. Super cringey. Very tacky. Classic 'YTA' behaviour. But I very much don't think it matters if someone proposes privately at your wedding, you never hear about it and then find out weeks later when they announce it. That didn't hurt your event at all and I don't get making a giant fuss about it.