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Bride asks MOH to pay for bachelorette. MOH gets 'shady on her.' AITA?

Bride asks MOH to pay for bachelorette. MOH gets 'shady on her.' AITA?


When this bride to be has some questionable needs for her wedding, she asks Reddit:

'AITA for expecting my MOH to pay for the bachelorette?'

My sister (29F) is my (25F) maid of honour for my wedding in July 2023. For some context, I got engaged in April 2021 and have had the date set since June 2022. From the start my sister hasn't really been excited, she hasn't been very involved and up until this point she has not financially contributed and everything like hair and makeup I am paying for.

I should mention that she offered to pay for my veil but I haven't taken her up on it. Anytime we talk about plans or I post in the bridal party group chat it seems like she's always saying the same thing, that she's excited or supportive but that things can't get too expensive or that she doesn't have the money. An example of this is when we were discussing bridesmaids dresses, any time I sent her ideas it was 'it's pretty but looks expensive' or something like that. I'm not unreasonable the dress I did pick was 110$ but it irked me that that's all she was thinking about.

So onto the bachelorette/bachelor party. We decided to have them both at the same time to save money and decided on doing a music festival. This festival is in June so everyone would have enough time to book the weekend off work. The tickets for the weekend are around 350$, she would have to get a hotel for two nights (our apartment is only 1 bedroom), and then food and miscellaneous. All around I think it would be about 1k.

I posted our decision for the festival in the group chat and she didn't answer. I texted her asking what was up and she immediately goes into the 'I don't know how I'm going to afford this' and 'I'll try but I can't guarantee...'. She didn't try to think of alternatives or ask for help or anything, it was just immediately shut down.

The thing is since we have had the date set she has gotten multiple tattoos (4+), piercings, and when we went to the mall she spent over 200 dollars. I see how she spends money, and she has known about this wedding now for two years.

I also feel it's relevant to tell you that she has a good, steady bank job and her partner is a tradesman. And I get that it's none of my business how someone spends their money but when I can see the proof (i.e. hundreds in tattoos and stuff) I can't not take notice.

So I sent her a text, I drafted it the night before and then gave it a day to make sure. I told her that she has known this was coming up, that she knew being maid of honor had financial responsibilities and that I was hurt because I've seen the way she does spend money. I said that I didn't feel like my wedding was important to her and that instead of being excited I was worried if my sister was even going to make it.

At the end I told her I wanted her there and that she was always welcome, but to take some time to think about it and to call me the next day if she wanted to talk. She messaged back the next morning saying that she needed to think after all that (the text I sent) and she would call in a few days, that was Friday.

Let's find out.

secularshift writes:

YTA holy shit. Wedding culture has gotten completely out of hand. Remember OP: no one is nearly as excited about your wedding as you. Expecting someone to drop $1,000 like it’s nothing on just a bachelorette party is insane and that doesn’t even include the costs associated with the wedding itself!

sneakyfox8 writes:

YTA - You don't get to dictate how your sister spends her money just because she's your MoH. If she WANTS to treat you to something, that's her right. But you EXPECTING her to drop hundreds to thousands of dollars on you is the most entitled thing I've heard all day. So far in your post you've already tried to spend close to $1500 of her money. If the role of Maid of Honor to you is playing the bank to your whims and desires you should have been up front in the first place.

jexx09 writes:

YTA and a bridezilla. Your wedding just isn't as important to others as it is to you. Get over yourself. And your expectation that she would want to drop $1K for your bachelorette is outrageous. It's a party for you and not for her. While you use her tattoos, piercings, and shopping as evidence that she has $, it isn't. She may have saved for those. And they are for her, not some weekend to celebrate you.

You are very good about spending other people's money. You want this wedding. It is your decision to have it. It is your sister's decision about how much $ it is worth to her. She doesn't have the desired level of financial expenditure that you want her to have. Stop being an A H about it.

Looks like OP is TA. Any advice for this bridezilla?

Sources: Reddit
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