Bride photoshops bridesmaid's 'grief' necklace out of wedding pics. Bridesmaid freaks.
When this bride feels torn about editing one of 'grieving' bridesmaids in her wedding photos, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for photoshopping a wedding photo?'
Don't miss OP's fascinating update.
kellywedding3 writes:
Hi everyone, I (29F) just got married to Tom (32M) 3 weeks ago. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him. We just came back from our honeymoon in Japan a week later and I got the wedding photos - my sister was photographer since she has her own business and wanted to gift us all the photos and videos.
One of my bridesmaids (Hannah 29F)'s dad passed sadly, freak accident before the wedding. She has a necklace he bought her a few years ago and she wanted to wear it on our wedding day, something she asked on the day. It didn't go with her dress at all, way too loud and long and I thought it detracted from her dress.
However, I didn't see this as a huge hill to die on since I've read about editing wedding photos online and that it's a way for everyone to be happy. So, she wore it in the photos and I asked my sister if she could do me a solid and edit two versions of the photo - one copy with the necklace in for Hannah and one with the necklace without for me. I ended up having that photo printed and put up in the dining room of me and all of my bridesmaids.
Tom and I threw a BBQ to thank everyone once more for coming to the wedding. It was all going well until Hannah saw the edited photo without the necklace framed and on my wall. I explained and told her that I thought it was a nice way to compromise since I did say it didn't go with the outfit at the wedding.
She wasn't happy and said the necklace meant a lot to her and it was rude to have it edited out. I apologized but pointed out that we gave her photos where she was wearing a necklace and that I wanted a photo with my original vision on my wall and there are photos of her where she is wearing the necklace. It was just this one photo of all my bridesmaids and I in front of our venue that I had edited.
All of the bridesmaids dresses were handmade by me to match my theme and as a nice memento and part of their thanks for being in my bridal party. If I'd known she wanted to wear the necklace, I would have designed her dress differently. She left pretty quickly after that and has refused to answer my calls or messages of me trying to apologize.
Was this an AH move? She still got to wear the necklace to the wedding and has photos of her in it also but I wanted my the outfits I made for my bridesmaids to be on show, not her Dad's necklace.
Let's see what internet users had to say.
angelopappas writes:
NTA - The necklace may mean a lot to her, but it means nothing to you, the bride. Everyone at the wedding got to see it, and the photos still exist. I sure you even offered her a copy to have. You having an edited version that you want to display in your home is totally your call. She's being selfish by expecting you to display something that only has meaning for her and detracts from the aesthetic of your photos.
feldomme writes:
YTA I'm in the minority here but I don't get it. Is it really that much of an eyesore, especially when you know the context of it? Is the dress really that much more important? Ah yes, there's the photo with my friend who I had to edit to fit my aesthetic...
It's not a compromise if the other party doesn't know about it, you should've talked to her about it first. You knew she would see it eventually so why hide it? It's likely that she'd have no problem with it if you communicated beforehand.
Your last sentence says a lot about you. YTA. You airbrushed her grief out of existence instead of letting her story, as someone close to you, be part of your story. Bridesmaids are people, not mannequins.
bluernx writes:
NTA: as a wedding photographer it’s your wedding and your day. I’ll edit out anything I’m asked to because they spent money to get the photos how they wanted them. She was allowed to wear it she shouldn’t be too upset, especially because it doesn’t seem like the photos with the necklace are all gone (even if they are depending on what program is being used the original is still a Available to view.)
OP, kellywedding3 writes:
Hannah is in the bathroom and we've just been out for coffee so I am going to add a quick update. We have worked this out. Hannah has gifted me a set of photos of behind the scenes wedding photos she and the other bridesmaids took for me as a surprise. She wants the cover to be the photo of us all in front of the venue, with no necklace.
I apologized for not having told her I have a personal version without the necklace and explained my reasoning. She thanked me for letting her wear the necklace and apologized as she realised her necklace imposed on the dress we made together and understands why I wanted that photo to be clear as a memento and reminder of being so close to everyone in the process.
We are going to go shopping for a small album to put them in and have lunch somewhere. Thankyou for the advice everyone. We have put this behind us now. Shoutout to whoever said the necklace was the only act of love at my wedding, that was rather awful of you.