Mom cancels daughter's surprise marriage proposal after her BF's 'gross' behavior.
When this mom is angry with his daughter's boyfriend, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for cancelling the surprise marriage proposal after what my daughter's boyfriend said about my son?'
My daughter “Jaelinn” and her boyfriend ”James” (both 25) have been dating for two years, and he's been living with my family for one. All this time, our families have come to know each other through word of mouth only. Despite living only a few miles away, we've never met in person.
I don't ”dislike” James, but neither am I a fan. He's okay most of the time, but sometimes he treats Jaelinn poorly.
He's short-tempered with her, he orders her around too much, and he often speaks to her in a condescending tone. Perhaps equally disturbing, his attitudes toward just about everything are radically right-wing.
He's not a 'bad' person per se; he just has an unpleasant disposition imo (most of the time) and is my polar opposite. Jaelinn is nothing like him, either. I guess it's true that opposites attract.
Through all this, my biggest problem with him is his attitude toward my son “Devon,” who's bisexual.
James never has said anything overtly hateful, but his phobias are obvious (rolling his eyes or snickering under his breath when he thinks no one's looking). He says he isn't against the lifestyle, but he doesn't believe in it. When I asked him why, he said, “It's hard to explain”
My daughter, for better or worse, is highly suggestible. She's also a very easygoing individual who defers to him more often than she should.
A few weeks ago, James told me he was planning to propose to Jaelinn on Valentine's Day and wanted to invite his family for the event. Naturally, I thought it would be wonderful for everyone to be in attendance, so I agreed.
But the last few weeks have been pure hell. The first remark: “Be sure you don't turn on the television while my parents are here.” Followed by, “Don't serve store-brand chips or soda for snacks.” “Don't correct my parents' grammar.” “Make sure the bathroom is clean”...
It's been one thing after another. I finally said, “Look, you're starting to piss me off. How much of a moron do you think I am? Do you think I've never entertained before?” He laughed it off, saying he was just nervous and that he didn't mean to offend. But he didn't stop.
Last night after dinner, he pulled me aside and said, “One more thing. You will make sure Devon doesn't ‘go off the deep end’ in front of my parents? You know... make sure he doesn't act too gay”
That was it—the proverbial last straw. I lost my temper, revoked the invitation, and told him to find somewhere else to propose.
This threw the whole house into an uproar, and there was no way to avoid Jaelinn finding out about it. She was furious with me. She said James changed his mind about proposing to her altogether and that it was all my fault. She said I “ruined her life”
At first, Devon supported me and so did half our family. Now even Devon says I should have kept my mouth shut and put up with it a little bit longer.
AITA for ruining my daughter's surprise proposal?
Let's find out.
killthedinosaurs writes:
NTA. If he doesn't want to propose because you refuse to make your son 'not act gay' ... he's the problem here - forget all the other stupid s**t you put up with ...
He's literally telling your daughter that because her brother is bisexual, he doesn't want to marry her.
The narrative on this needs to switch around to what it actually is.
cheapshame7 writes:
You hit every nail on the head. I feel sorry for OP because if daughter doesn’t see how much of a bigot this man is, and controlling and condescending like do we need to go on?
Does she not feel she can do better. It sucks when snakes worm their way into a family dynamic and cause havoc. OP probably feels no support when she’s trying to protect everyone.
The kids need a reality check and James needs to go. Can we agree his family is probably just as bad or worse than him? So disgusting this is.
flatscreen98 writes:
NTA - keep sticking up for Devon and don’t back down. You are doing the right thing. Honestly I would not let him live in my house under my roof if he treated my child that way.