Couple makes guests pay for their own rehearsal dinner, 'settle up individually.'
"They made the wedding party pay for the rehearsal dinner..."
Someone correct me if I’m wrong but I’m pretty sure that a rehearsal dinner, traditionally, is paid for by the groom’s father (or the couple getting married, or whatever) as a thank you to those involved for their time, commitment, and care.
Anyway, I was in a wedding a couple years back. The mother and father of the groom plan this nice rehearsal dinner at an expensive, fancy restaurant. We were told by the bride that we had to attend, but it’s not a restaurant I would have chosen for myself ever because $$$.
But I figured hey - a nice meal to thank me for the hours I spent traveling to the wedding, helping run around for tasks, steaming all the dresses, buying my own dress, etc.
When we get there, we’re encouraged by the groom’s father to drink up and so we order drinks (which I otherwise wouldn’t have gotten). There’s like 20 people at this dinner, and the cheapest dish on the menu starts at like $30-35.
At the end of the dinner, the groom’s father stands up to do his toast and thanks everyone for coming and for being a part of the couple’s lives and then informs us that the waiter will be around shortly with each of our bills so we can all settle up individually.
I was floored. My bill alone (which I had tried to keep as cheap as possible thankfully, because I had felt bad that the father was about to spend thousands on the dinner considering 20+ people were there) was over $100 after tax and tip.
I was so upset afterwards. If I had known I would have to pay for the dinner myself, I wouldn’t have gone. As much as I love the bride, I had already spent hundreds of dollars to attend her wedding and be a part of it. Why am I paying more at a dinner that was meant to be thanking us for our contributions?!
Here's what people had to say to OP:
FOCOMojo said:
I've never heard of this. My son is getting married in October, and I'm in the process of planning the rehearsal dinner. I wouldn't DREAM of asking anybody else to pitch in a single penny!
simongurfinkel said:
It’s fine if the groom's parents can’t pay, but you should have been informed before the dinner.
MsKardashian said:
It’s very bad form that you weren’t clearly informed about this beforehand.
Notquitechaosyet said:
We paid for our rehearsal dinner (approx $800 for 12 people) and had budgeted for it as part of the costs of our wedding. I can't imagine asking everyone to pay for themselves!
5footfilly said:
My daughter and son-in-law didn’t have a rehearsal. But we damn well hosted a very nice dinner the night before as a thank you to the bridal party.
Jules-Bee43 said:
You’re being fleeced by your friends/friends parents. If you’re anything like I was when my friends were getting married - being in weddings was cost prohibitive. I had to scrimp and scrounge for months to afford crap I would never wear again.
VivianDiane said:
Wow. The groom’s dad basically tricked y’all into funding his "generous" gesture. Classy.