Dad tells daughter to get revenge on school bullies; school staff is livid. AITA?
When this dad feels like he took a parenting strategy too far, they ask Reddit:
"AITA teaching our daughter mean things to say to other kids at school?"
I(31m) have a 9 year old daughter with my wife(30f) and she has been having a hard time in school. Bullying and such by a handful of other kids. The 'leaders' are a young boy and young girl. Not really going to get into that here.
We've taken all the steps to prevent it. Talk to the teachers and principle, we've had meetings with the parents over the other kids. We've had her switch classes etc. None of it seems to work as they will go out of their way to find my daughter.
It's crazy to think that from when I was a kid and now schools are still just as useless when it comes to bullying. They'll let something go on for years but once the victim does something back they start the punishment.
I grew up in the rough inner city area and developed a way with words there. You wouldn't survive a lunch table without being able to riff, roast, and insult someone endlessly. I can see a person/thing/show/movie etc and just start riffing jokes about it, it's just in my blood at this point from kindergarten to high school.
My daughter was telling me about things that happened at school and me being fed up that there is nothing we can do. I gave her things to call them and say about them that I won't post here but nothing crazy. Think making fun of someone's big head or bad outfit.
Well I guess it worked TOO well because she had the group of kids crying. And the school principal contacted me about it. Now I'm not here to go in on school policy and their weak way of handling bullying and punishing victims.
My wife understands why I did it, but is upset. My parents are livid about it and saying I'm teaching her to be bad and that I'm as AH for doing this. My wife thinks I should have told her about this before I jumped the gun and just decided to do it. My parents think it was wrong all together and I'm an asshole. My inlaws think it is hilarious. AITA?
Let's see what readers had to say.
bamg7 writes:
NTA. When I grew up, my parents taught me to deal with bullies by ignoring them. Now, as an adult, I am conflict avoidant and don’t stick up for myself. I can’t tell you the ways that strategy has harmed me.
You, on the other hand, are teaching your daughter self confidence. You just need to make sure that she only does this to bullies and not to innocent kids.
imirene writes:
So basically, they can dish it out but they can't take it. Is that about right? I don't think you're an AH because your motive here is to arm your daughter with a proactive method of disarming her bullies.
I think you're on the right track (self-empowerment, confidence etc) but perhaps there are better methods of achieving the same thing without getting her into trouble. Any chance you can get her into martial arts? Or some other kind of disciplined self-defense training? NTA.
notcreativeatall7 writes:
NTA. You're teaching her to have a thicker skin. Instead of getting upset by what they're saying to her, she can dish it back. That's not BAD. As long as she's not starting shit now, GOOD JOB DAD!