Dad blames 'lazy' wife when he feeds their children 'stale food.' AITA?
When this husband is disappointed in his wife's cooking, he asks Reddit:
'AITA I fed my kids 'stale' food and called my wife lazy?'
I(37M) and my wife(36F) have two kids 5f and 7f. My wife is pregnant with our third kid now. She's 20 weeks pregnant. So my daughters have never been picky about their food since I used to cook all meals and never introduced them to junk food. However, about 2 months back I was assigned to a new project at work and started working long hours(70/week) so I have been unable to cook as often now.
I wanted to hire a cook because my wife was having severe pregnancy symptoms but my wife said she wanted to try cooking for our kids and she also didn't like the idea of a stranger at our house. I agreed to her idea since she suggested it herself.
For the first month or so, she cooked pretty diligently for the kids and both of us as well. however, after that, she reduced the quality of the meals. What I mean is, she started making easy to cook foods for the kids. she also started giving them junk foods as snacks so that they wouldn't be that hungry for real meals.
I chalked it up to her pregnancy nausea for the first few weeks but last week when I prepared an elaborate meal for the family on Sunday, the kids refused to even touch the food because they wanted the usual buttered noodles. So I told my wife that I'd be cooking all the meals from now onwards because the kids are getting spoiled from eating junk food all the time.
She got mad at me and said that she's trying her hardest and I should be more appreciative. I told her no one forced her to cook and I had already suggested hiring a cook but she was the one who refused. She said that I don't understand her discomfort with having a cook and that hiring one was out of the question.
She also told me that I can cook all meals if i think it is so easy to feed the kids healthy food. I told her that I would do just that. That very night, I stayed up making different kinds of healthy food options for the week. Fruit salad, chicken stir fry, pasta sauce(with veggies, mushrooms and tomatoes then blended it all), cauliflower soup and banana bread. I froze everything so they can be reheated during the week.
I have been just reheating food throughout the week and giving it to the kids. Since they want only noodles, I add the sauce and chicken stir fry to the noodles along with grated cheese. The just eat it without detecting any veggies in it.
For their school lunches I pack ham and cheese/tuna/chicken sandwiches the night before along with fruit salad and chocolate milk. They get a slice of banana bread for after school snack. Sandwiches and soup for dinner for me and my wife.
My wife told me the food tastes good but it's stale food so she doesn't think it's any better than what she used to cook for the family. I told her at least I was putting effort into the meals unlike her who was using the kids picky behavior as an excuse to be lazy. She got mad at me and said that she wasn't being lazy and that the kids really were picky. Now she's not speaking to me for the past 2 days. AITA?
Let's see what internet users had to say. They are torn.
mother17 writes:
NTA -I totally get it bc I've lived it. The food isn't stale. Your wife is just picky and peeved - and you can chalk it up the pregnancy. I don't cook bc I want to- it's bc I think it is important to have balanced meals and setup good eating habits.
When I travel for work- I prep all meals ahead of time and label each container. Kudos to you for offering to get a cook (I use a company that will make fresh healthy meals and deliver -so that's a great idea and it works when I have to be away for extended trips.
helenahandbasket writes:
YTA. Pretty sure your initial assumption was right: she’s struggling with the pregnancy. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with simpler foods for a time. Definitely not the end of the world. If you had a problem with it, you could have just suggested that you two work together and you can make sure that there are a couple of healthy things or see if there’s a some simple healthy things she can make.
Getting upset and telling her you’re taking over was way too much. I mean she was stepping up so you could work more. And as someone who has had to do meal prep a week in advance, I see where she’s coming from. It’s not the end of the world but usually the food i prepared on Sunday would be not quite as nice as it was by Friday.
shadowfox writes:
ESH- you are both fighting against each other when you both could sit down and TALK about meal plan for the week. Share ideas on what you can cook on the weekends and what she can do on the week days. If she wants fresh food then you can show her how to do some of the dishes you make.
And yes to me, reheating frozen foods of some types does taste stale, doesnt mean they are stale just texture is different. stir fry is one thing I can't eat reheated but is also something pretty easy to make fresh.