Dad puts son 'in danger' to teach him a lesson; mom says, 'this is bad parenting.'
When this father is concerned with his own parenting, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for putting my son in 'danger' to teach him a lesson?'
I (35M) have a 15 year old son named Gavin. I used to be a heroi* addict and lived on the streets. When my son was 5 I got sober and have been clean since. Recently Gavin got caught smoking w**d and drinking. He knows that I’m disappointed in him and that he is too young to be drinking and smoking.
Every once in a while I walk the streets and help the people I used to use with. I offer them resources, give them food, etc. My wife doesn’t like this but she knows it’s important to me.
On Boxing Day, I took Gavin with me to meet some of the people on the streets. I made him watch how they lived and how they interacted with me. I could tell it really shook him, which was my goal so he could see what addiction is really like.
When I told his mom, she was upset with me and said I put him at risk but honestly I think it’s good for him to get out there and see what I went through and what he will also if he doesn’t clean his act up in the future. So am I the a**hole?
Let's find out.
bigenergy8 writes:
NTA. What you just showed your kid is the only effective anti-drug education. DARE doesn’t work, just say no doesn’t work, and nothing you could’ve told your kid could work. But him seeing that with his own eyes is going to.
technicallobster writes:
NTA.But it's missing one thing. You need to sit and talk with your son. Tell him your story, let him ask anything, don't hide, lie or refuse any answer. And talk with him, not that you believe he'll become a junkie. But that you believe he'll make good choices, given the right information.
milksdud writes:
NAH, but this was a stupid way to teach the kid. You basically DARE'd him. Telling somebody that weed is addictive and a gateway to hard drug use, even implicitly, is so obviously bullshit that you've made any actually good anti-drug messages you give seem equally stupid.