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'AITA for not paying for my estranged mom's surgery even though I have money for it?'

'AITA for not paying for my estranged mom's surgery even though I have money for it?'


When this daughter refuses to help her mom, she asks Reddit:

'AITA for not paying for my mom's surgery even though I have money for it?'

I (35f) I lost my father very early when I was 5 years old. A few months after his death, my mother married a guy named 'John'. John already had two teenage boys and he didn't want to raise me because he never wanted to be a girl's father.

My mother, like a good mother, abandoned me with my aunt and took my brother (8 by the time) with her to live with her husband. John was a man with a lot of money and he always spoiled my mother and brother, but he never bothered to get me even a Christmas present.

My mother didn't do anything for me either, she came to visit me once a month and didn't even call me at Christmas or New Year (I always called, but many times she didn't answer). My aunt was a woman who couldn't have children, because of that she and my uncle raised me as if I were their daughter, not missing anything for me.

Even without much money I accumulated some money from my job I had during high school and I earned a small amount from my aunt which was enough for me to pay for my college.

At the time I graduated in computer science and went to work in a good company earning a great salary, but eight years ago I received a much better job offer in a large company (One well known for having great Hardware products).

In that time, I accumulated a lot of money and helped my uncle and aunt renovate their house and I always sent them a nice amount even if they told me to spend it on myself.

I currently live alone in a great apartment with an estimated value in the millions. Recently my mom called me on my Instagram (I post a lot of pictures of trips and fancy places I go, it's not too hard to find me).

She asked if we could meet to talk and reevaluate our relationship to forget the past and move forward as mother and daughter. I have a soft heart so I took it, I thought it would be an opportunity for us to talk and finally create the bond I always wanted. We made an appointment at a restaurant downtown and met there.

When we got there she hugged me, kissed me on the cheek and said she missed me. We talked about my life and when I asked how hers was going, she started to talk about how bad she was. Apparently she divorced John and my brother didn't want to keep her as she is now poor.

To make matters worse, she lives on a pension from John and has serious heart problems. After a while she asked if I could pay for a surgery she needed. The surgery was quite expensive, quite a lot. I told her I wouldn't pay as I wouldn't feel good doing that.

She yelled at me in the middle of the restaurant, said I was a terrible daughter and that I was letting her die even though I could pay for her surgery. I left there very embarrassed.

When I told my aunt, she said it was my decision but remarked that I have plenty of money to pay and that it wouldn't affect me financially. I don't want to do this cause she never have been a mom to me, but i need to ask. AITA?

Let's find out.

pjfranri9 writes:

NTA.She abandoned you; you don't owe her a thing. I'm calling bullshit on the heart problems by the way. The fact she abandoned one of her children demonstrates she has no heart. You're better off without her.

ihavesaidmypiece writes:

NTA. Just decide with what you can live with. It's unclear if your aunt is your mother's sister or not, you may want to take that into consideration too. Saying all that, your motherly clearly didn't care about catching up, she just wanted your help. She should have had more humility when you gave your answer.

evilfinch writes:

I also don't believe that she is ill. She just saw a chance to get on money. She somehow heard that OP is rich and she even gave up here daughter to live with her rich husband! It must be soooo hard to not have money anymore /s She would do anything to get her hands on quick cash, like contacting OP and faking a heart disease.

I bet if OP says 'Yes, i pay for it but i pay directly to the hospital', she will find more excuses (or fake some bills).

Well, looks like OP is NTA. Is the mom potentially faking this illness? And if YOU were in this situation, what would you do? Does the daughter owe her mom anything?

Sources: Reddit
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