'I don't want to marry my fiancé now. He saw an old photo of me...'

"I don't want to marry my fiancé now. He saw an old photo of me..."

I don't like talking about this. Outside of my family only my fiancé and one of my friends know everything. When I was a child, my parents wanted me to be a ballerina. My entire life revolved around ballet. I wasn't even allowed to go to a regular school. I had to have tutors so I could focus on ballet. It didn't even matter to them that I didn't want to be a ballerina.

I don't have a relationship with my parents now. I have been asking some of my relatives to send any old photos they have of me because I don't really have any. My fiancé and I want to have a slide show at our reception. In one of the photos I was 17 years old. It would have been about a year before I quit ballet. Back then I weighed a lot less.

There was so much pressure to be thin and anyone who was a normal weight got shamed. So many of the other girls had problematic behaviors. My parents were really controlling about what I ate and how much I weighed.

Ever since my fiancé saw that photo he has not stopped mentioning how great I used to look. I don't know how anyone can look at the photo and think I am healthy. But my fiancé keeps talking about it even after I asked him to stop and I have caught him staring at the photo when he thought he was alone. It has been 14 years since I quit ballet.

I eat properly now. But my fiancé thinks I look better at the weight in the photo. I don't think I want to get married after what he has said. He knows what my upbringing was like. I have asked him not to talk about my weight, but he's not listening. Sorry if my English is bad, but I am really upset.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

SimplyPassinThrough said:

I don’t blame you for not wanting to marry him anymore. I wouldn’t want to marry him either. I’m so sorry.

BunnyPort said:

You asked him to stop. He won't. That should be enough. I wouldn't marry him. What happens if you gain weight with pregnancy or illness/injury down the line?

honestlemonhead said:

This is really scary. I’m at a loss for words

intolerablefem said:

Absolutely not. Don’t marry this man, sis.

SatireDiva74 said:

What a blessing!! To find out before the wedding day! You have been given a clear sign that you will be marrying your parents. Will you go back in time and reLive your past? OR OR be brave and do the scary thing. Start over. I wish you all the best.

occasionallystabby said:

First of all, congratulations on taking back control of your body from your parents. That couldn't have been easy. Good on you for having the courage to walk away from them.

But now it's time to be brave again, and walk away from this sorry excuse for a man who is more attracted to a sick younger version of you than he is to the strong, beautiful woman in front of him. You deserve so much better than this. Believe that.