"My future sister-in-law asked me to buy her wedding decorations and I said no..."
My BIL (husbands brother, 34M) is getting married this summer and his fiancée (future SIL, 34F) is calling on all their friends and family to "do them favors." BIL and FSIL have been dating for about 1.5 years. My DH and I have made a conscious effort to make FSIL feel welcome and included in the family. However, FSIL seems to have zero interest in building a relationship with my DH and I. Which is fine.
BIL and FSIL have invited about 200 people to their wedding. Which is a fairly large wedding for where we live. However, BIL doesn't want to spend very much on their wedding.
FSIL said that was fine because she can just "call in some favors" and get stuff for free. She asked her photographer friend to photograph their wedding for free. The friend initially agreed, but has since dropped out.
She asked her caterer friend to cater the wedding for free. Her friend agreed. Then she asked to also get the food for free. And have her make the cake for free. The friend has dropped out of catering for free. She's asked our mother-in-law to bake the wedding cake for the 200 guests for free.
MIL agreed. She asked her friend with sound equipment to lend them the equipment and set it up at their venue for free. The friend declined. She asked her friend to DJ for free. The friend declined.
She asked me to set up all of the wedding decorations for her ceremony. I agreed, she is going to be family after all. However, that then became "can you go to the venue and figure out all the decorations that are needed then go out and source and buy all the decorations."
No, I will not be doing that. If you can't afford to have a wedding for 200 people then don't have a wedding for 200 people. It's not everybody else's responsibility to pay for your wedding.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
CraftFamiliar5243 said:
About 20 years ago I was a wedding florist. A bride contacted me asking me to "sponsor" her wedding. I would do the flowers for her for free and she would "recommend me to all her friends."
I was like "What, so all your friends could come ask for free flowers?!" I responded that I would be happy to do so but I want my logo embroidered across the back of her gown like NASCAR drivers.
aurorabat said:
I really don’t understand the mindset some people have, thinking that other people should be paying for their wedding. Where has this come from? If you can’t afford it, don’t do it!! It just seems so entitled and cheap.
newoldm said:
You're going to miss out on a golden opportunity if you don't do this. You buy the cheapest, gaudiest, tackiest decorations you can find and doll up the venue. When she comes in and sees it looking like the gymnasium of a middle school done up for the eighth grade dance and you see the expression on her face, you ask: "So, you like?"
Same_Beat_5832 said:
MIL making cake for 200 people? She should make or buy a small, pretty cutting cake and then buy Costco sheet cakes that the caterer can slice and serve.
nutkinknits said:
Wow. Don't have a big wedding if you can't afford it. First a way to be creative that doesn't involve trying to grift your family and friends. When I got married, I just wanted a simple reception.
I told my parents I would have been completely happy with a BBQ or potluck. My mom overruled me. We had a classy affair within the budget my parents laid out. Nothing wrong with a finger sandwich luncheon.
Dangerous-Word8023 said:
Somebody wants a champagne wedding on a beer budget