Wedding guest says, 'If you don't plan to feed your guests, PUT IT ON THE INVITATION.'

"If you don’t plan to feed your guests, at least put it on the invitation..."

I have been to two weddings in the past year where there has been insufficient food for guests with no warning. The first was my (38f) cousin’s (31f) wedding. The wedding was held at a vineyard about 20 minutes out of a small-ish country town. The town was about a 4-hour drive from the major city where the couple and most of the guests live.

The distance from the major city meant guests needed to arrange transport and accommodation for at least the Saturday night. Now this town is a popular location for weekend trips due to it being central to a wine region.

As such, weekend accommodation is particularly expensive ($400+ per night) and many places have a minimum 2 night stay. So most guests were at least ~$1000 out of pocket to just to get there.

As the vineyard was “out-of-town” and there isn’t really taxi/Uber service, my cousin organized a chartered bus to drive guests out to the vineyard and return guests at the end of the night. This was great, until we realized it meant we were all stuck at a vineyard with no food until 11pm.

The ceremony was scheduled for early in the afternoon (3pm-ish) in the garden with cocktail hour and then a reception to follow. It rained, so the cocktail hour and ceremony got switched. The drinks were flowing but no snacks, which we attributed to the change in schedule.

As we sipped champagne, a few of us were commenting about how the drinks were going ”straight to our heads” because we hadn’t eaten lunch in preparation for the usual 4+ course reception dinner.

The ceremony eventually took place and it was lovely. Probably one of the best wedding ceremonies I’ve witnessed. By the time it finished, it was 6pm, time for the reception. The doors to the main part of the vineyard opened and we saw, a dance floor. The music started pumping and the reception began.

There was lounge seating for about 12 of the ~100 guests and no tables. We were wondering if there was another room that would be revealed for the meal. Nope. This was it.

Staff bought around ~4 types of small canapés, but really only enough for each guest to get maybe 2. I got 1 meatball. 7pm came and went. 8pm came and went. 9pm came and the music toned down. Time for speeches. Speeches and toasts took place… and the music started back up. No sign of even cake.

By this point people were drunk. Not fun, classy, wedding tipsy. Properly, empty stomach drunk and ready for food. However the bus wasn’t coming until 11pm! So MORE drinks were consumed to dull the hunger pains.

On the bus ride back to town, attention turned to what food we could get. This when the realization set in. Nothing would be open and, as with most Australian country towns, there were no fast food outlets. It dawned on us just as the first guest started vomiting on the bus, that we may not be able to eat until the morning!

As we pulled into town, we saw that the petrol station (gas station) was still open! Now this was a small town petrol station, not a highway mega stop. Around 80 drunken, ravenous wedding guests swarmed the shop which was around the size of a shipping container and cleaned the place out.

The following day, many weary, hungover guests emerged from accommodation at “check-out” time (~10am) and started the search for a substantial meal. Being a small town there were many familiar faces on the Main Street. Quickly conversation turned to whether we had missed something on the invitation.

Now, none of the guests I spoke to were particularly upset about there being practically no food at the wedding. It was more that there was no warning and no option to even purchase food.

Several months later I attended a friend’s wedding, THE SAME THING HAPPENED! Luckily this time I had driven and had emergency snacks in my car! Is this a new trend that I missed?! Please, if you are planning this, make it CLEAR on the invitation that “only light snacks/canapés will be provided” for the love of god.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Sugarpuff_Karma said:

It's a new trend here in Ireland too (they want trendy venue & photos but not to pay for a meal)....happened my friend, nowhere to sit & the trays of hors d'oeuvres were empty by the time they got to the end of the room. Not only did guests start leaving early, my friend & his friends took out half the cash they had as their joint gift. They then spent it on a meal nearby.

blueswan6 said:

I went to a wedding that was at 2pm in the afternoon and followed with just an afternoon reception with drinks and desserts. That was okay because people only stayed at the reception about an hour or two. I think if you're planning an event that is several hours long and covers a meal time you have to provide a meal or make it clear there isn't a meal. Very bizarre.

Immediate-Screen8248 said:

Something like this happened to me except thankfully in a big city so I was easily able to feed myself after! Wedding was at noon so I assumed there would be lunch after and in anticipation (and in the rush of getting ready to make sure I was there on time from the hotel), I didn’t have much for breakfast.

After a lovely (and very long) ceremony, and after an hour of standing around in a small side room in the church with a bunch of people I didn’t know to wait for the wedding party photos (about an hour), they finally brought out the food…wedding cake, punch, peanuts, and butter mints. No meal, no water, no dancing or anything else. I said my goodbyes and took myself to a restaurant.

Responsible-Spite-36 said:

$1,000 just to travel and stay at the wedding, a gift I assume as well and for your trouble you get held hostage for hours and only get one meatball after 12 hours at the venue. That’s the rudest sh$% ever.

cindyb0202 said:

I would be mortified..the bridal couple should be embarrassed. I might even take my gift back. You be cheap, so can I.

bbbright said:

Tacky as hell. I have never been to a wedding where there was no food. If you’re inviting people to a party you should provide food. That’s just basic hosting etiquette. As a guest I think the biggest driver of how my experience is at a wedding is how good the food is.

It’s also wild to not provide seating at a reception. I love dancing but also usually take some time to sit and take a beat every now and then. And I’m a youngish, able-bodied person. Did this couple not have any older relatives in attendance?