Guest shares horror story of wedding that CHARGED FOR WATER, 'this was just the tip of the iceberg.'
"I had to pay for WATER. Also - surprise! Cash-only with ZERO communication beforehand. This was just the tip of the iceberg..."
I attended a disaster of a wedding this evening. From start to not-even-finish because I left early, it was a mess. I knew nothing coming into this wedding aside from the time and place. That was the only information given on the invitation, and there was no wedding website to get more information.
Turns out, it was an outdoor wedding on a humid 95° and sunny afternoon (thought it was indoor because I looked up the venue). People were in shorts, tees, and slip-ons, and others were in floor-length gowns. One lady was in a full white dress.
Ceremony started, at least I thought. I couldn’t hear much over the 8 children there that screamed through the entire thing. Parents, of course, didn’t intervene. The ceremony went fairly smooth, although the personal vows were oddly disturbing. Pronounce you husband and wife - YAY, done.
Cocktail hour starts. No direction on what to do, so I follow the herd to the bar line. At this point, I am drowning in my own sweat, and all I want is water. I’m not paying attention to the people in front of me because I’m busy trying to fight off flies.
My turn in line and I ask for water. “You got it, $2.” I look up and I see the sign. No free beverages- period. Not even water. I take a second to internalize and pull out my card. The man says, “Oh I’m so sorry, we operate with cash-only.” Thank GOD I had some cash in my purse from a FB Marketplace sale.
I sit and wait for dinner. I have little interest in socializing because I feel sick from the heat. Eventually, dinner starts. Tables are dismissed as usual, and I get to the buffet line. This looks like such homey food, yum! Then I realize it is in fact, homemade. No problem, who doesn’t love a home cooked meal?
Me when there’s FLIES ALL OVER THE FOOD. Seriously, all up in the food. I take the smallest amount possible to be polite. I was so hungry and desperate that I did take a few bites. Within hours, I was creating jobs for local plumbers.
I sit and wait some more. I barely know bride and groom (EDIT: I knew the bride about 4 years ago, but we were more acquaintances, and I went to the same school as the groom, not sure why I made the list but there were a lot of people there), let alone anyone else there. Next, dessert! Can’t mess up dessert, right?
Wrong. So wrong. Flies on the dessert, as expected by now. But how am I supposed to eat the dessert? There are no plates, napkins, forks, nothing. The buffet equipment has been cleared. So I watched as people walked around holding dessert in their hands.
All throughout this time - drunken family drama, kids still screaming and making ginormous messes. Next was speeches. At this point, I just start taking notes for this post. 6 speeches in total, one of them actually good! Sweet, heartfelt, funny. I forgot where I was for a second. The rest…roasts, angry bride, brother started a fight with the groom.
And I mean a literal fight. I couldn’t hear what it was about above the screaming kids, and the groom’s lack of front teeth. All I gathered was that it had something to do with the bride.
The fight got taken to the lawn, and when people gathered to assist, I slipped out and came home. I truly don’t feel like this was real life. Like this had to be a practical joke, right? I may politely decline invitations I have no information about moving forward.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
OdangoAtamaOodles said:
Well, I'm going to go out on a limb, and say to be fair, if I was a kid attending that kind of outdoor ceremony in those conditions, I'd be screaming bloody murder the entire time too.
VivianDiane said:
This wasn’t a wedding. It was a survival challenge.
Poesy-WordHoard said:
I attended a backyard wedding ages ago. It was homemade food. Bride's grandma was manning the door, and she was constantly clutching an open bottle of barefoot wine and sipping from it. I was early, and she was already drunk at the door.
There were macaws in cages next to the cake (pets) and they were loud. An uncle was grilling meat. And by dinnertime, several adults were smoking joints at their tables. They held up their joints when kids ran by, I guess to keep the smoke from blowing into their faces. I've no complaints. Good food and plenty of drinks. Grandma is a fun drunk. She made sure everyone ate well and had filled plates.
sandersonprint said:
That actually sounds dangerous - the heat, no free water, food giving people diarrhea. I'm surprised older or frailer guests made it out alive.
Salty_Thing3144 said:
That is absolutely awful beyond words! I would've left when they tried to charge me for water.
zebramath said:
I went to a wedding with free alcohol but had to pay for non alcoholic.