'Help me write a response to the note I found from my upstairs neighbor, Karen...'

"Help me write a response to the note I found from my upstairs neighbor, Karen..."

I'm feeling deliciously petty today, and would love to get the internet's help in writing a snarky letter to my insanely loud upstairs neighbors who have the BALLS to complain about me! Heres the back story:

When my husband and I moved into our 1st floor apartment, our neighbor, "Karen" (50sF) came down to introduce herself. Karen is Humpty Dumpty in female form, a boulder of a woman with arms and legs, smokers teeth that my husband describes as Summer Teeth (some are here some are there), and a permanent scowl etched into her leathery skin.

We were moving in boxes when she came by, door wide open and an assembly line of movers coming in and out. Karen informed us that she and her two sons live in the unit right above us, and we might hear some knocking coming from their apartment from time to time.

Her two adult sons (late 20s, males) are both deaf, and they get each others attention by knocking on walls or countertops, as they can feel the vibrations. I did an eye roll in my mind, like friggin great, guaranteed noisy neighbors.

But then thought, "Ya know what, she did us the courtesy of letting us know, they have a legit hearing disability, I'm sure its not that bad, and having deaf neighbors will mean that we won't be getting any noise complaints, right?" WRONG.

A couple weeks go by, and Karen stops us and asks that we stop slamming our front door as they can feel the vibrations. The doors of every apartment swing closed, if you want them open you have to prop them open with a wedge. Its true that the doors can close quite quickly...

...and I hear other peoples doors close several times a day. We take this note from her to heart, again empathizing that her sons are deaf and the vibrations might scare them. So, ok, we make sure to close the door quietly.

Another couple weeks go by, and we get another request from her to stop slamming the door...we thought we'd be fairly courteous already, but its possible we were not perfect all the time, so ok we'll try to be MORE courteous.

Now we start hearing fighting coming from upstairs, furniture sliding on the floors, loud banging like something is being thrown, muffled yelling. We considered calling the police because it sounded like a full on fist fight, but decided to mind our own business. But then the NEXT DAY, Karen stops me on the stairwell and asks again to stop slamming the door.

I tell her, "just so you know, we can hear you too. We heard a scuffle coming from upstairs, it sounded like an all out brawl." to which she responded, "yes I'm sorry, you'll have to understand my kids have ADD." Girl, I've been repping ADD since the 90s and I've never used it as an excuse to get in fights and disturb my neighbors.

I absolutely hate it when people try to weaponize mental illness, so I was having none of this. I stood firm and told her, "Lets continue to be mutually respectful to each other, and keep the noise to a minimum." She left in a huff, and I hoped that was that. NOOOOOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE.

The noise from upstairs continued. Now, I (30sF) have a brother, we definitely fought and rough housed as kids. But these are GROWN MEN, having actual physical altercations on a regular basis. If Karen is there when it happens, she'll yell and scream at them (not sure why, because they're deaf, the only ones who can hear her scream is her neighbors.)

Do we go up there and tell them to keep it down? No. We mind our damn business. But the second we close our door, this bitch comes down the stairs like the boulder in Indiana Jones and demand WE keep the noise down.

The third time she complained, my husband was walking to the mail box and she was passing by, she starts talking to herself as he goes by and she says something to the effect of, "stop slamming the door" and mutters on as she rolls up the stairs. My husband tells me about this when I got home from work, and ya'll, I was pissed.

My husband is the nicest, most considerate, people pleasing person in this world. Ain't NOBODY swearing at my husband and gettin away with it! So I thought about it for a day or two, and then decided to go to the leasing office and tattle.

In the office, I told them about the constant noise complaints from her, and told them we really don't slam the door, and we are just existing near her. I told them in all my years of renting I've never had so many noise complaints, and it's even weirder that I'm getting noise complaints from my DEAF neighbors.

When they asked for the apartment number for the neighbors in question, they were not surprised at all, and told me that she complains often about everything. They said don't take it personally, and they will talk to her.

After this, we don't hear from them for a while, and it was glorious. We can still hear them stomping up and down the halls, opening and closing cupboards, using their washer and dryer, and ironically slamming their front door. But we understand that this is just what it is like to live in an apartment, humans do not exist silently.

One Friday night around 5pm we are playing music while preparing dinner, and we get a phone call from the leasing office. They notify us that a neighbor has complained about the music, and we immediately know who it is.

So I asked them, "If its not too much trouble, can you come by our apartment and listen to the music? I'm not going to turn it down, I want you to hear the volume they're complaining about before we adjust." He obliges and comes over. We greet him at the door, and he says you're totally fine, you're allowed to enjoy your apartment and this is a completely reasonable volume for this time of day.

We thanked him for coming by and he went upstairs to let the neighbor know we weren't breaking any rules. We closed the door and threw up middle fingers through the ceiling. We were going to turn the music off and watch a movie, but being the petty queen that I am, I kept that crap on until quiet hours started.

Over the next couple of months, there were other REAL disturbances in our apartment complex, not just from Karen and her sons. People have gotten evicted and loudly removed by police, my packages have been stolen multiple times, there's one neighbor who throws parties nearly every weekend...

...we're pretty sure someone was selling something out of their car in the parking lot and the police eventually (it took months) removed them. All this to say, of all the crap that goes on in this complex, I cannot imagine that my husband and I are really the problem here.

And just so you know we are very aware that this apartment complex is sketchy, we didn't find that out until the lease was signed, so not much we can do until the lease is up. So, theres your back story, now comes the most recent transgression. Yesterday my husband and I came home to find a letter taped to our door, we knew before opening it who it was from. It read, grammar and spelling errors and all:

"To the people of Apt #XXX

Hi I live right above you and I'm asking you to stop slamming your door. You don't like it when I show you how it feels so please stop.

I am working on finding another place to move to. We got that you wants us out of here. But know this the more you slam the more you are making my CPTSD really not good that I can end up in the hospital. Really don't want that this is my last way of asking for you to stop. Thank you Apt #XXY"

So, people of the internet, what should I write in response? Just a note to add here, we never told them we want them out of here, not sure where she got that. Also, in the time it took me to write this, I have recorded two videos of the noise coming from upstairs, including stomping up and down the halls, walls shaking, and other noise I can't quite put my finger on.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Next-Drummer-9280 said:

What should you write in response? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Give the letter to the property manager and keep your mouth shut.

shrimpandshooflypie said:

Why respond? She wants to get a reaction out of you - give the letter to the leasing office if you want a paper trail; otherwise, ignore her and go about your business.

Aussiealterego said:

Ignore it. There’s nothing you can write that won’t escalate the situation.

Geitmans said:

You should write: I won't slam doors if I can't hear any fights between your two grown men you call children.

blackbutterfree said:

Don't respond anything, just call the cops the next time her wildebeest sons start going at it.

HavenHeks63 said:

I'm struggling to figure out why you had to pick apart her physical appearance before getting to the issue. They do sound like unpleasant neighbors, and your best bet is not to engage. Take care of everything through the leasing office, that includes documenting the wrestling matches and putting your complaints in writing.

Anxious-Routine-5526 said:

Don't respond. Just pray that she actually moves. Quickly.

Fun_Organization3857 said:

Dear xxx - we know who you are. STOP LEAVING NOTES.

msoptimisticcat said:

This needs to go to your landlord!