Woman leaves Thanksgiving early after her mom's BF 'invades' her laptop.
When this woman is angry at her mom's boyfriend, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for leaving festivities early after what my mother's boyfriend did to my laptop?'
I (30M) visited my mother for Thanksgiving and my plan was to stay until Monday.
Little did I know that when my mother picked me up from the airport, my ex-stepfather (my mother was married to this man and divorced years ago, and are now back together) was there in the car as a 'surprise' from my mother.
A little context for this man though. He made my life a living hell growing up and was very controlling of me and my brother. He would not be supportive of anything my brother and I did and would gaslight us consistently.
My mother is lonely where she lives now, and she really wanted someone to be with which is why they amended and got back together, but did not remarry.
So, Friday, I had to work on some crucial work-related things that came up out of nowhere, and I was on my laptop in my room finishing those things up.
My mother called me to dinner and I asked her to give me a few minutes because I needed to finish my train of thought with this email I was sending. My mother's boyfriend then opened the door and said it's time to eat now and I asked him to give me a few minutes.
He then proceeded to turn off my laptop and I stopped him to the point where it didn't just shut down automatically, but it still shutdown and I lost my email I was typing up along with some other work files that were still open (I was able to salvage a little bit of it).
He and I got into a verbal altercation and I said that he doesn't control me anymore and that he is completely out of line for shutting down my laptop, to which he said this is his and my mother's household and it's their rules.
He invaded my space, I couldn't believe it.
I got so irritated to the point where I said to the both of them that I would be changing my flight to later today and that once I am treated like I am an adult and not a teenager, I would come back for Christmas, so that's exactly what I did.
I got a later flight, Ubered there, and left for home early.
I've been doing some self-care things the past two days to take my mind off of what happened because my mother was so upset when I left early.
But, instead of thoroughly enjoying my time off, I was left with the 'surprise' of my mother's boyfriend being there, and still controlling me even eight years after he and my mother divorced.
I love my mother, but there is no way I am putting up with behavior like that from her boyfriend (even if her boyfriend keeps her company and makes her happy). AITA?
Let's find out.
nessie51 writes:
NTA. You are an adult and he doesn’t get to control you anymore. I’m so sorry for this, and that your mum isn’t strong enough to stand up to him. He sounds like a classic bully and for your sake, you may need to stay away
synatheazia writes:
Yeah I’d make other plans for Christmas. Maybe arrange an ‘Orphan’s Christmas’ where you live, for friends without family in the area.
Or so those who don’t traditionally celebrate Christmas don’t have to spend the day alone. One of my friends use to hold one every year on Christmas Night, we would all bring a dish and it was fantastic. NTA
zookeepergame1506 gives OP this advice:
NTA for leaving. Now that you've had some time yo think about it, you need to talk with your mom privately without him on the line.
Tell her you felt ambushed not knowing he would be there, that he is not your parent and while you know she wants his company, you do not want a relationship with him. Arrange to see her without him.