Man asks close friend with 'heavy, watery body' if she's pregnant. AITA? UPDATED.
When this man feels guilty about upsetting his friend, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for asking my friend if she’s pregnant?'
My (M25) friend (F23) usually goes to the gym regularly and parties a lot. Lately I’ve noticed that she stopped drinking entirely same as smoking and has stopped heavy lifting and going to the gym as regularly as she used to.
On top of that lately she’ll often excuse herself to go to the toilet (presumably to throw up) and I’ve noticed she got a bit thicker and watery. Don’t get me wrong I’m not jabbing her looks, it’s just sth I’ve noticed. Her chest has also noticeably grown.
When we were out the other week and I noticed she didn’t even touch her red bull I pulled her to the side to have a private conversation and asked her if she’s pregnant. She immediately flipped out and denied it. Right after that she went home and I covered for her when the group asked me why she went home.
I texted her later that same night if I overstepped and she simply replied “you literally called me fat, dbag”. I never did such a thing but I simply let her be instead of arguing.
Today another friend told me she indeed is pregnant and I don’t know what to make of her reaction towards me when I asked her in a 4 eye conversation. AITA?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
enenm9 writes:
Men and women, let me make this easy: Has she told you she's pregnant? Yes? Awesome! Congratulate and support her. No? Don't. Say. A. Damned. Thing. I don't know why we still have remind people that's it's not their business until it's been made their business. YTA.
medievelmomoo writes:
He’s getting his information about women from Monty Python, never a good move. He’ll be calling her a ‘watery tart’ next.
ethatcurs writes:
YTA. Aside from satisfying your curiosity, exactly what impact does knowing if she is or is not pregnant serve? Not a thing. She is managing what she needs to do just fine, and if she hasn't shared that information it may be for a very good reason.
Many families have histories of early miscarraige and a lot of folks don't tell anyone until as late as possible because of that. You should have minded your own business.
OP then provides this bizarre update:
She messaged me and we met up during lunch break. She apologized for overreacting and I apologized for if my question was intrusive. We came to the conclusion that my question wasn’t intrusive and neither did she overreact.
She told me she’s 2 months pregnant and didn’t think anyone had noticed. She was keeping it a secret (at least to the guy circle of our group) because she was afraid of being called a wh&re. That’s why she freaked out when I asked her and it’s also why she tried to deflect by saying I called her fat.
I reassured her that nobody would think she’s a wh&e, especially not in out group. We are all very supportive and are looking forward to doing our best in helping her out the following months.
I also showed her this post and she had a good laugh at some of the way overboard YTA-comments, especially the one that called me a pervert??
To be fair she also said many of them put forward valid points, but that they in most cases rather concern strangers and not close friends you’ve shared big things with before tho.