Man gives mom's BF food poisoning; says, 'he was asking for it.' AITA?
When this man is fed up with his mom's BF, he asks Reddit:
"AITA for knowingly letting my mom's Boyfriend get food poisoning?"
I (24m) am visiting my Mom (54) for a couple of days. Yesterday evening I was in the kitchen preparing a chicken dish. My mom's Boyfriend (55) came into the kitchen to prepare a salad and asked me if he could use the cutting board.
The cutting board and knife were still soaked with chicken juice and had tiny bits of raw chicken on it, so I obviously said no, that he should use the spare one. I was still busy with cooking, but had planned to clean both by hand and then put it in the dishwasher.
I am very cautious about food safety (especially regarding chicken) and I would not have let him used the board, even if he cleaned it by hand. Since I don't trust meat contaminated tools, if they weren't in the dishwasher.
My mom's Boyfriend on the other hand does not believe in food poisoning. He never had it, so obviously it can't exist. I don't know why he is so unreasonable regarding this topic, since he is not like that with other stuff. He is not anti-science or anything, it's just food safety he doesn't believe in.
He still insisted on using the cutting board and knife. I reminded him of salmonella, to which he just sighed :' You and your salmonella...'. I replied that if he wants to use it then fine, if he cleans it, it may not be up to my cleaning standards, but I don't have to eat that salad.
Well that man did not intend to clean the cutting board, he wanted to cut the vegetables, that he wanted to eat raw, on the dirty cutting board, with the dirty knife. I immediately told him, that he cannot do that and we had a heated discussion.
This was not the first time we had a fight about food safety and I have more than once refused to eat anything he had prepared. In the past I had grabbed the kitchen utensils out of his hand and ensured that he could not do stupid like that. But this time I was already exhausted from having such a stupid discussion.
I was also caught off guard, because he never attempted something so unsafe before. So I thought fine, if he wants to give himself salmonella so badly, then I will not stop him. I just warned my Mom how he prepared said salad (she did not eat it) and let him eat his food hazard.
You can probably guess what happened next. It's the next day and as expected, he is laying sick in bed. My Mom pulled me aside and told me, I should have stopped him from preparing the salad on the cutting board.
That I knew what would happen and that it was cruel of me, to let him eat it. I responded, that she knew how he prepared it and could have stopped him from eating it. Her reasoning is that there was already an argument, because she refused to eat the salad herself and she did not want to cause another.
I do feel bad that he is know sick, but I tried to talk him out of it and I don't think i should have to physically stop him from doing something stupid like that. On the other hand I do feel like an AH for letting him go trough with it. So am I the AH?
Let's find out.
crockofpot writes:
NTA. Imagine having to treat a 55 year old man like a toddler and take no-no items out of his hand to stop him from doing something stupid.
perfectionkum writes:
NTA. This guy is an absolute joke. He’s a grown man and should know better than this. You’re not his mom or his caretaker. The fact that you warned him and he couldn’t care less cemented he’s at fault here.
Not you. It blows my mind when people don’t take things like this seriously. Never had it before so it can’t exist? He learned real quick what being stupid looks like. Hopefully this is a lesson learned and he doesn’t do this again.
ivanvector writes:
I say ESH because I think you have a responsibility here, knowing the risk, to do more to prevent this, like I think you would if there was a child around who liked to grab things off the counter and put them in their mouth, which is effectively what your mom's BF did.
Put the cutting board and knife into the dishwasher immediately when you're done with them, for example. Or hand wash them immediately - hand washing isn't sufficient to remove bacteria, but it will remove organics that the bacteria grow on and that significantly reduces the cross-contamination risk. Also, get another cutting board. I have a set for meat and a separate set for everything else.
I get that there's not a lot you can do here with a stubborn opponent, but salmonella isn't just a tummy ache: it can kill a healthy adult, especially older people, and he could have served that poison salad to your mom. Salmonella or e. coli poisoning often resolves on its own, but if mom's BF's symptoms progress to vomiting or diarrhea, he should go to a hospital.