Man tells GF to stop sanitizing her menstrual cup in the kitchen pots. AITA?
When this man feels like he may have taken things too far with his GF, he asks Reddit:
'AITAH for causing a fight with my girlfriend because she sanitizes her menstrual cup in the kitchen pots we use to cook?'
My (32M) girlfriend (30F) started using a menstrual cup about 2 years ago. Since then, we've had one recurring argument regarding cleaning of the menstrual cup. To sanitise the cup, she uses the same kitchen pots that we also use to make food. I am not comfortable with this.
I've communicated my discomfort multiple times, but she hasn't stopped because she is not 'convinced' of my arguments and insists that there's nothing tacitly wrong/unhygienic with boiling a menstrual cup in a kitchen pot.
I've proposed investing in a separate small pot (which I'm happy to buy) that she can use to boil non-food items, including the menstrual cup. However, every time I suggest this she gets upset.
She's called me a hypocrite because I have no issues with oral s*x (including when she's on her period with the menstrual cup) but I make a big deal when she 'just wants to clean the cup for her own safety.' I could buy a new pot but I don't trust that she would use it.
In the past I compromised and asked her to use only one designated pot for the cup even though it was a kitchen pot. She agreed. Unfortunately, multiple times, she didn't use the designated pot.
When I communicate that this is upsetting for me, she repeats the same arguments and emphasises that the cup is already rinsed and cleaned with soap before it gets in the pot and that I'm being an AH for making her feel bad.
Perhaps I'm wrong for feeling uncomfortable with this, but I just hate that when we have guests we prepare food in the same pots. We cook meals for my friends and relatives in the same pots. We also come from different cultures (hers more open than mine when it comes to such topics) so maybe that's why we can't see this from the same viewpoint.
Today I noticed that she is sanitising her cup again but it's not in the designated pot. I'm feeling angry and I just feel that if I bring it up again her we'll have another argument or she'll say 'I'll use the designated pot' but then keep on using other pots when I'm not around. So reddit, help me out before I cause another argument, AITAH in this situation?
Let's see what readers had to say.
umbada writes:
NTA. Personally I think you’re being unreasonable. Boiling water will sanitize whatever is in the pot. However, the fact that she agreed to use a designated pot and then went back on it annoys me more. Lying about petty shit is a good way to ruin a relationship.NTA.
Personally I think you’re being unreasonable. Boiling water will sanitize whatever is in the pot. However, the fact that she agreed to use a designated pot and then went back on it annoys me more. Lying about petty shit is a good way to ruin a relationship.
fatsy6 writes:
NTA. I’m a woman and a Laboratory scientist and wouldn’t do this. I wouldn’t do this with any body fluid, it’s not just unappetizing because it’s period blood. This kind of thing is why I’m always leery of eating food at work that people have cooked in their own kitchen. Sure, the pot has been boiled and cleaned, but thanks for the new fear of menstrual cup macaroni.
unholyerror writes:
I'm gonna say NTA. As someone who has been experiencing menstruation for 28 years now, even I am extremely grossed out by this idea. Yes, I get it, 'beautiful girlhood' & we can't help it, it's a fact of life, and etc etc but- at the end of the day, it's a device used to catch human waste & this is repulsive.
I encourage just going ahead and doing what you'd suggested to her, and buy the gf a red pot of just the right size, and leave it somewhere for her where she will find it by herself, with a simple note explaining your feelings again...
in your own (kindly) written words. It's a non-confrontational and peaceful way of offering a solution to her, that would be hard to argue with. Good luck!!