Mom 'triggers' hubby when she won't 'risk newborn's life' to take stepson to school.
When this mom is upset with her husband's decision about their bio son and her stepson, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for telling my husband I’m not comfortable driving with our newborn 3hrs every day to take my older stepson to school?'
My husband (36M) and I (33F) have been together for 6 years. He has a son (10M) from a previous marriage that goes to school 45mins away from us, right next to his bio-mom’s house. He is with us almost 5 days out of the week so either my husband or I have been driving him to school every day.
That’s almost 3 hours back and forth. I asked for him to be moved to a school that’s closest to us, since he spends the majority of the time at our house. My husband and his ex decided that for now it’s best that he goes to the same school because of familiarity, and “maybe next year” he’ll go closer to us. It’s ultimately their decision, not mine.
I am currently pregnant and our baby is due at the very end of December (12/31). I asked my husband if my SS can be taken to school by his bio mom for a month or so after the baby is home so that I don’t have to drive 3 hrs every day with a newborn in the cold and Midwest snow..
especially since winter break is over a week or so after I give birth. To my surprise, I got hit with “Don’t worry, bio-mom and I will figure out the arrangement for OUR son. i get that you will now have a different kid as a priority but I’m sure that if SS was your bio son, you wouldn’t have a problem doing what needs to be done for both kids”.
I am so hurt by that statement. I’ve taken care of my SS as if he was my own since he was 4 and I have never treated him any different. I am on maternity leave until May 2024 so I will be home and my husband works 24hr shifts so he can’t take him on the day that he’s working so that responsibility falls on me.
My family lives an hour away so that’s not an option to help with driving or babysitting every day. My husband doesn’t have contact with his family. So AITA for asking for help after the baby is born for a month or so?
Let's find out.
suspicouswest writes:
NTA. Your husband is completely ignorant. He expects you to be up feeding a baby all night, then get 2 kids ready to go, drive an hour in very possibly bad weather at 6 or 7 am... there and back then again a couple hours later... This cannot even be for the benefit of your stepson. Both kids and you suffer.
It's not safe. Sleep deprivation is not safe. What about when the baby needs to be fed and you're driving? You'll have to pull over. Stepson has to wake up too early and spend that limited amount of time out of school in a car. No one is reachable should your stepson need a parent while he's in school such as illnesses or injuries.
Your husband is not a good parent or spouse. He and ex are not thinking about their kids or you. If they aren't there to actually parent their children then they need to figure their own stuff out and not put that on you.
witchyinthewild writes:
I'd shoot back with a 'that was uncalled for and you know it. perhaps you and bio-mom didn't know this the first time around but doctors do not recommend travel exceeding 30 minutes with an infant, they don't recommend it for several months after birth.
This isn't about me or my inconvenience, even if I weren't concerned about the dangers of sleep deprivation, it would be unsafe for the baby. talk to our doctor about it before coming back with any more of this passive aggression. We will have a big problem if you want me to put one child's comfort over the other's safety.'
illuriah writes:
NTA. I would seriously consider divorcing a man that would suggest to take his son to school that takes 3hrs/day just after giving birth. Also the Baby need skin contact and peace to develop well, they would have neither in a car.