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Mom questions her own parenting on teen daughter who is 'out of control.' AITA?

Mom questions her own parenting on teen daughter who is 'out of control.' AITA?


When this mom is annoyed with her daughter's behavior and torn about how to handle it, she asks Reddit:

'AITA for ignoring our daughter when she tried to get our attention in an insane way?'

I have 2 daughters, one of them is Abi(22) and the other one is Ana(16). When Abi was 16 she suddenly started to act weird like screaming and yelling for no reason. We were very worried about her so my husband and I put her in therapy and we did everything we could to help her.

Ana always tries to do whatever Abi does for example when Abi turned 14 she joined the basketball team. When Ana turned 14 she did the exact same thing. There are many more examples.

When Ana turned 16 she started to act exactly like Abi. Yelling, screaming. It was clear that she is only doing this to get our attention and there is really nothing wrong with her so my husband and I decided to ignore her behaviour ENTIRELY, hoping she would stop acting like this which after a month she did.

However now she is giving us the silent treatment, I was talking to my sister about this and she told me we are AHs for ignoring her when she tried to get our attention. Is this bad parenting? AITA?

Let's find out.

sliverkai writes:

NTA - she wanna scream and throw tantrums like a brat just to get attention, no sweetie that’s not how the world works. She needs to learn (and 16 is definitely not a child anymore) where she can use her words instead of her tantrums to get peoples attention for things.

Clearly she thinks if she does it like her sister that you’ll pay attention to her but low and behold it didn’t work and she’s only giving silent treatment because she knows no body cares when she throws tantrums.

soggycaligrapher8 writes:

YTA. You knew she was trying to get your attention. If she feels like she needs to act out for your attention, don't you think there's a problem?? Why did you not give her the attention she wanted and ask what was wrong?

justoklore writes:

YTA. Repeating her sisters behavior at the exact age where she did it was deserving of therapy before all this. That is absolutely not healthy.

You say she was just trying to get your attention, so why weren't you giving it in the first place? Wanting attention from your parents is perfectly normal, ignoring your child is not. If she so desperate for your attention she'll do everything her sister did, that says you gave her sister all the attention and she now thinks to get attention she has to be her sister.

Looks like the internet is torn on this one. What is the right parenting move in this scenario?

Sources: Reddit
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